They are sisters. SD is here 50/50. We all get on well but this is becoming an issue and I'm not sure how to handle it.
Fox context, SD is generally a very quiet/shy girl who doesn't find it easy to socialise. But at home is more outgoing, wants constant interaction/entertainment and doesn't do activities independently. Lots of those things probably due to being a bit indulged, e.g. extra treats and special attention whether at mums or dads, then mot around for the following days of tidying/prepping/housework. So, parenting and not my place to get involved there.
Issue is that this generally shy and unassertive kid, seems to be taking out these feelings on DD. I know that with big sisters, some bossiness/being in charge is normal and fine. But a lot of the time their 'playing' is just SD barking orders at DD, 'sit down/stand up', 'don't touch that' etc etc. I don't want to be the bad guy as I want SD to be confident and comfortable, but I don't want her main outlet exerting power and authority to be over my little daughter! The girls love each other, so it's not meanness, but it is constant and distressing for me.
I want SD to feel confident/comfortable, and we have a good relationship which is fun and I don't get involved much with rules/discipline as I think that's counterproductive. But DP is something of a permissive parent and also suffers from dad guilt when he (very occasionally) holds a boundary with her, because he then misses her the other half of the week.
How to maintain a balance here and not get too involved in parenting, but not allow my kid to be constantly bossed around by her sister? If both were my DDs I would call her up on it every time.