It's my first post here and want to see what other people think about my situation. So I have DSS 10 50/50 and my DD 7 full time from previous relationship. So to cut long story short, DSS was on and off annoying my DD pretty much throughout the lockdown. By annoying I mean saying things like who cares when she says something, ignores her sometimes and so on. So it did upset DD and I was fully on it to distract and say my DSS that's not acceptable, rude and bullying. So it did improve something but it was still on and off. His father don't think there's any issues and told me at the time to be harder on kids if they misbehaving. It didn't help me to feel supported. He goes to work while I'm at home with both kids. Every time I was trying to say something to DSS my husband disagrees and chucks in that I'm not like that towards my own child. And honestly I can say that I'm equal about them, however I will not let one child bully orher. But in his father's eyes he is perfect and DD is the one getting away with murder, which is not true. Needless to say I did develop resistance towards DSS and my husband for not trying to see where I'm coming from and every attempt ends a full blown argument followed by silent treatment.
Time passed and DSS somehow matured and both kids got along okay. Plus if DSS tried to be annoying DD could stand up for herself and told him to stop. Sometimes she actually initiates and is annoying first, which I do establish and dealing with it accordingly. So then, Saturday morning I woke up DD screaming from anger. So I got downstairs to see what's going on to find DSS is annoying DD and keeps doing it right front of me. I asked him to stop doing it in a firm voice about 10 until he actually stopped. I asked him why he is not listening to me, he just blank looked at me and said he don't want to. I was so upset. So I asked DD did she do anything to annoy him, and she said no. The thing is about DSS he feels he is entitled to everything and can do what he please, and this particular one was just about that. He didn't led DD to sit on the 3 seaters sofa because he wanted to be comfortable. So after I finally got him to let DD on sofa he run upstairs to his dad to say that I'm shouting at him and DD was so annoying to him. DH storms downstairs shouting at me why I'm being like that. As I'm trying to say him I didn't shout for a starter and secondly what happened, DH got angry and said to me that yes I was shouting why would otherwise DSS said that and secondly it's DD whom I need to sort out as she was outrageous. I tried to say him that sometimes this is a case in which case I would deal with them both but DH didn't want to know. He shouted that I'm picking at DSS and being horrible that he done nothing wrong. Couple of hours later DD intentionally jump on DSS that didn't help and DH witnessed it. He started to screaming at her on top of his lungs. I knew he done it because he thinks I shouted at DSS which is not true and he never listened to my side of the story neither DD. I was so upset after all of it and still I am, silent treatment since then. Went to the shop for 5 min yesterday and he said to take my DD with me as he will not look after her. Tomorrow DSS is back and I will be expected to look after him. I'm not sure where I'm standing. Something really broke in me as I never felt supported in parenting and always ending up on the wrong side while DSS gets away with everything and my DD is the difficult one. I keep trying to do my best for this family and did tolerate so much throughout pur relationship that I'm not sure I still have anything left in me 