Hi everyone,
So basically about two years ago, I met and fell in love with a man who is a little bit older than me (he’s 52 and I’m 30, not sure if this is relevant to the story). He’s previously been married and has three kids to his ex-wife. I don’t have any children myself.
The children are 14, 20 and 22. The eldest and youngest are absolutely fine, they go to school and university and are quite polite young men.
However his daughter, she just frustrates the life out of me. She is 20 years old, left school at 17 and has since done nothing with her life. She has not worked one day in her life and is always asking my partner for money or lifts to places. This is about the only time she will speak to him is when she wants something. She’s actually quite disrespectful and it’s difficult to say something about it because ‘she’s not my child’ and ‘I don’t have kids so I don’t know how to parent’.
Anyway, she’s just accidentally on purpose had a baby. She wasn’t on any contraception which is ridiculous as it’s free in this country and she lives all of a two minute walk to closest sexual health clinic.
She was always complaining that she wants money and to move out so it’s quite clear this was a cash baby so she could get onto the housing with benefits.
Anyway, this is my partners golden child and yet she didn’t even tell him she had the baby. She just rang the day after and dropped it into a conversation. The day before she gave birth she was asking for five pound but yet couldn’t be bothered to even call or text to say she’s in labour or had a baby?? She had FaceTimed all her friends to tell them before hand. Like to me that’s just a bit childish and a little disappointing for her dad.
So obviously I have abit of a moan that’s she’s taking him for a mug and only see’s him as a walking ATM (baring in mind he is only a general handy man so it’s not like he’s got money to give). He gets all defensive and says it’s me who has the problem and that I’m just jealous of her? How can I be jealous if I’ve thrived since leaving school, travelled the world, doing well in my career, and own my car and own home.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m an outsider looking in but she’s just so rude and disrespectful and if anyone was taking the p*ss out of my partner then I would say or do something, it just so happens that it’s his daughter.
He is so nice to her though and just lets her think everything is ok.
She’s just a horrible girl who is a bum on society and I feel bad because I can’t stand to be in the same room as her. I feel like I’m dampening his first grandchild experience, I don’t want to be that person but I’m just finding it harder and harder to just grin and bare it.
I’m such a good partner and so good with the other children. I’ve actually surprised myself just how ‘mumsy’ I can be. It’s just her.
I know no-one can fix this situation but does anyone have advice on how I can handle this better? Like am I out of order thinking this way? What do I do?
Thank you if you have taken the time to read this.
L