Bombshell

[Songbird232018]

Ok so I need some advice! My partner has just dropped a bombshell and I need to understand where that leaves everything....

Backstory 3 SC all good round relationship with kids, partner and ex on awful terms most of the time. So the eldest SS is 17 and we all (even all kids) know that he isn't biologically my partners as he was 4 when my partner met the ex wife. This son has his own dad although he's not involved other than sporadic contact and money.

When my a partner and his ex broke up 7 years ago (we have been together 6) there was CSA battle as my ex wanted to pay a set amount and half other bits with no CSA but the ex wanted only a set amount but alot more. So it ended up us filing CSA And finding out that the eldest already had a open CSA claim with his bio dad so Therefore my partner pays for his two bio children via CSA however the eldest gets an allowance and all normal gifts etc the mum was obviously not happy with this but it's how it has been and has worked somewhat ok.

BOMBSHELL we were talking about kids turning 17 and driving licenses etc and my partner and his sister start talking about how my partner is not ok his daughters birth certificate and that her they argued the day of registration and her mum went and signed as father unknown. I was so shocked! Now it's disturbing and awful that neither of the parents have resolved this in the last 14 years and I am so angry with him also. He has now texted her mum and asked if they can change this and we have had no rely.

Does anyone know what this means in terms of parental rights etc and can it be changed solely by my partner or mum only? I feel devastated that my SD might take this hard 😡

@AnneLovesGilbert worst case, no say over medical care, education, leaving the country or change of name to new husbands

As they did marry at a later date the should have re registered the DC anyway!!!

It's some ancient inheritance things as to why you are legally supposed to re register DC most marriage of natural parents but it's no biggie - means they are no longer technically illegitimate!

Download the forms and deal with the original registry office.

We finally sorted out our own DC when one of them needed passports and neither of us had valid ones which made it more complicated 😱

I agree OP, that your dp should have got this sorted, and made sure he has parental responsibility.

For those of you on the attack did I at any point say I was going to speak to DSD? Or try to resolve myself absolutely not that’s not my place.

You said you wouldn't be able to answer her questions and that "we" hadn't received a reply from ex.

Sorry, you feel attacked, but you have posted in a way which implies you do intend to get involved.

People have advised that there is no need.

Well if they later married I really wouldn't worry about it at all as she would be classed as a child of the marriage anyway.

Is she definitely his child ? Could there be some doubt, hence her Mum leaving it blank ?

FWIW if they weren't married the mum wouldn't have been able to register the birth without him there. She hasn't decided to claim he isn't her DD's dad out of spite.

@beautifulxdisasters

FWIW if they weren't married the mum wouldn't have been able to register the birth without him there. She hasn't decided to claim he isn't her DD's dad out of spite.

Oops meant to say register the birth with him named as the father !

Op I've no real advice as I don't live in the UK but I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're getting a hard time.
You obviously care a lot about your dsc & in truth it's a pretty stupid for your oh not to have rectified this & no, it would not be nice for a 14 year old to think that her parents couldn't be bothered to fix this especially if it leaves both her and her dad vulnerable regarding parental rights.

No name on the birth certificate = no parental responsibility and strictly speaking as I understand it no requirement to pay child support.

@Magda72 thank you I know I maybe am stepping on toes but truth be told I’m furious with my partner! But I will just step away :) thanks

@tisonlymeagain well yes this did cross my mind but there really isn’t a dispute about her being his daughter and he would never want her to think there was so money can’t be stopped really although I see the appeal to force the mums hand into dealing with this