Will decisions

[Willconumdrums]

I'd really appreciate people's thoughts on how they would set up their wills in line and DH's circumstances. DH and I have two young primary age children and he also has a teenage DD from a previous marriage. Asset wise we own the following
Flat in London - bought by me before we met and owned in my name, currently rented out, worth circa £350k
House in a small countryside town - DH's former marital home, currently rented out, worth circa £300k
Our family home - owned jointly, worth circa £500k and whilst I originally put down more of the deposit I do feel it's owned 50/50.
We have circa £50k savings that I feel are jointly ours but these will rapidly diminish as DH is about to be made redundant with no redundancy pay (less than 2 years service) and our DC are in private school so these will be needed for school fees until DH hopefully gets a job (not anticipated until next year). DH will also continue to pay maintenance for DSD out of these savings.
When I have tried to broach the subject of wills in the past, DH is of the view that all 3 children should equally inherit everything we own. Personally I feel differently, I have a good relationship with DSD but would like my inheritance to go to my own children. My preference would be for our home to go to all 3 but for my flat to go just to my DC and DH's house to be split between his 3 DC. With any savings I think that our 'halves' should be split again between our DC. I'm curious as to how other people would approach this. Thanks

If it makes you feel better, wills are literally my job and I'm struggling with this issue myself. Unfortunately with blended families things get complicated, both in agreeing how to split things and the documentation you need (to ensure your wishes are fulfilled even if you die first). You also need to think about any death in service you have, what happens with any mortgages etc. I can't recommend enough that you speak to a solicitor to help you navigate - I'm often the devils advocate with clients in that I can give them examples of how to do things that they might not have thought of.

For what it's worth, my view is that my share of everything (joint assets and a house I solely own) will go to my DD. My partners assets should be split equally between both his children (DSD and the DD we share). That's a reasonably common way of approaching things.

In your shoes, I’d place the flat in a trust so that it goes directly to your children. Everything else should be split among the children. That’s not unfair as your husband is treating his children identically, and your children are benefiting from an asset you owned before you married.

I suggest a trust in case you predecease your husband.

I had this discussion with my DP. Our decision is the same as @BirdIsland

In my own family it was decided that my mother's assets only went to her children regardless of the father. She died first but hadn't done a consent order so my dad could have claimed but didn't. My dad's assets where to go to all his children regardless of the mother. It was more complicated as with some of my dad's assets my first step-mother worked for. Some of us pointed this was unfair so it was agreed that those who didn't have some sort of permanent housing got more money so they had deposits to buy a place.

I think
Your flat to your DC
DH house split between all 3
Your joint house split 50/50 with your half going to your DC and his split between the 3

OP - difficult but also simple.

Yours and his DCS get significantly more from him now, than he gives his eldest DD. School fees if maintained from 5-18 is a huge chunk of monies which she is not getting. His share £200K easily.

I have to concur with Eileen - that leaving his old marital home to his eldest solely goes some way to redressing the inbalance that is currently there.

Your current home goes 3 ways - your DCS get two thirds and DSD gts one third.
Your own property goes to your 2 DCs
Current assets go three ways - your still get more than she will.
Inheritances stay with the relevant parent to do what they want with them.

Seriously your DSD - is already getting a bum deal from her father, to shaft her further when he dies is not acceptable. My siblings went to private school and I did not for various reasons. When my parents died, everything was split three ways equally - according to my brother this was right as we all got the same when we growing up! It was the first time I resented their private education and his absolute refusal to recognise the £250K spent on my siblings would have meant more monies for me at the end of the day!
Am not going to lose sleep over it but it does rankle.

Your flat - to your children
Your DH house split between his children
Your current house split 50:50, you each leave your half to your dc, so your half to your dc and your DH half split between all his dc
Savings split between all dc. Altho you could do similar as your joint home.

You do need to sit down and talk about it to him and make him listen. Your joint dc are both yours your DSD is his child not yours. DSD will get inheritance from her maternal side too. You’re not obligated to include her in your will.

The don’t expect my DP to leave anything to my older DC they aren’t his financial responsibility. He’s already taking enough financial responsibility for them, they’re my dc not his responsibility. My older DC won’t get anything from their paternal side.

The DC don’t sound like they’ll be left without. That’s a pretty decent inheritance.

The private school is because OP also contributes to it. On his own the DH wouldn’t be able to afford it. So I don’t think it should count.

In a similar situation, our joint child gets everything from me, nothing to stepchildren as they inherit their mother. My child does not inherit anything from siblings mother so why should they inherit from me? Fathers portion is split between all of them equally.

Your flat goes between your two kids

His old house goes 3 ways.

Your joint house of 500k should go 1/5 (100k) to your step Dd, 2/5 (200k each) each to your joint DC.

I would ask any inheritance from your parents to be left direct to your DC via a trust.

Iv already told my OH that my half of our house is to only go to our joint children and not my dsd.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

@bogoffmda Our DC are only able to attend private school as I pay the school fees. They will most likely in any case go for primary school only. I don't agree that DSD in that regard gets a 'bum deal' or is being shafted by her DF.

Technically yours and his prior homes are now "ours", so reasonably I think that ALL assets have to be viewed as joint.
My personal suggestion is:
Split assets in 2,oh divides as he wishes, you divide as you wish.
With regards to inheritance, I'd ask your parents to state in a will who gets what including the 2 children of that's your preference to prevent additional antagonism.
I fully understand why oh is pissed off. You've taken sd on supposedly as your own, except it looks and feels to him like you want to shaft her. Yet to you she has another parent to also provide etc.
No easy answers. Hence I think share assets equally and each allocate as prefer.

I completely agree with you. Your assets your kids. Joint assets three ways. This exact situation causes much tension between my DO and self. We have one child each but I have a house bought before I met DP.

We had our own houses when we met, and my husband had two children. We then had two more, but our wills are absolutely split four ways as I personally think it's fair. If I outlive my husband I absolutely will continue with that.

You don't need to agree with your husband about this. I appreciate that you want to come to some sort of agreement but actually your Will is your Will, unless you have previously made mutual Wills.

So you could make a Will appointing executors/trustees who you trust. You don't need to include your husband as an executor/trustee of the Will.

In respect of the family home, if this is held as joint tenants, then you can unilaterally sever the joint tenancy so that you then hold it as tenants in common in equal shares. You give your husband the right to remain in the marital home for life. This gets you around the IHT issue.

Then you leave your 50% beneficial interest in the marital house and your residuary estate to your own children. This would include any assets that you hold at the date of your death in your sole name, including the flat. The trustees would then manage and look after these assets until your children reach vesting age (which I would suggest should be 21 or 25 years of age)

In respect of the joint bank account these are usually held as joint tenants meaning that you cannot leave your "half" to anyone as this would pass automatically to the surviving joint owner on the first death.

www.boodlehatfield.com/the-firm/articles/joint-accounts-whose-money-is-it/#:~:text=Normally%2C%20the%20balance%20in%20a,as%20%22tenants%20in%20common%22.

If you simply leave everything to each other then you run the risk that if you died first your husband could simply make a new Will leaving all assets between all three children or worst still he remarries (revoking any current Will that he may have) and the children may get less than you intended or indeed nothing at all if he makes a Will leaving everything to his new wife.