This is such a weird one...

[MsTalie]

I just wanted to know if I'm in the wrong here. I'm also new to the lingo on here so forgive me. Me and my partner have 2 children, DD who is 14 months and DS who is 2 months.He has a daughter from a previous relationship DSD who is 14. We have been together for 10 years and him having a child was never a problem. I wasn't one to expect him to buy me things, take me out all the time etc because he had a child to provide for. I would happily have weekends cancelled with him for his DD and so on.

Ever since our 2 children have been born, he has contributed NOTHING towards the things they need, nappies, milk, clothes etc. He does however pay the rent and bills so I must give him credit for that but anything our children need has been zero from him. And I'm not exaggerating, it's literally zero. All through both pregnancies and both our children's lives so far he hadn't bought a thing! Anything I couldn't afford my Mum had to buy it. Not even a pack of baby wipes he's bought for our babies. Whereas, for his own DD he buys everything, expensive clothes, trainers, days out, school fees anything she needs. Which he absolutely should don't get me wrong but he can't keep only buying for 1 child when he has 3. He covers child maintenance payments on top of all the things he buys her and still won't even say 'ok we've run out of nappies for our babies so I will buy it'. His DD guilts him into buying her stuff because she's jealous of our 2 other children (she hasn't even met her lil brother yet because she doesn't want to) If his DD asks for money or clothes etc and my partner doesn't have the money he finds a way, he borrows it or gets it on credit he does what ever he has to do. When I ask him to buy nappies or milk because we've run out he says Sorry I've got no money. And trust me I wish I was exaggerating when I say he buys nothing for our children ever. It's like he feels that because he lives with our children and sees them everyday, that all his money should go to his DD.

Baring in mind that he does pay rent and bills am I wrong in thinking that he should help me buy things that our babies need?

Its not about the money isn't it?
Its about the Ex you both are afraid of and you are plying that stupid hide and seek game and let her rule your life.
Grow up and act like pair of grown up people.

You’re not in the wrong OP. The foolish man is setting all three of his children up for a lot of sadness. The eldest is being taught that money and material possessions equal love, which is tragic. The youngest two will be taught that they were second and third born and therefore second and third place in their fathers eyes, which is just awful.
It’s shape up or ship out time I think, OP. Your children don’t deserve this and neither do you.

I'm failing to understand this. So he pays rent, all the bills and covers part of the food shopping. That's the majority of the household expenses. You pay for fresh food shopping, nappies, wipes and kids' clothes. And he's still made out to be an evil one here. Even though he pays the lion's share.

Split then. He'll give you maintenance to cover half of the nappies/clothes and you can pay the rent, bills, council tax and cover all the food alone.

Op. Can you clarify, he pays all rent and bills, he does a monthly food shop, the only thing he doesn't pay for is the top up shops and baby stuff?.

This is your contribution? Do you pay for anything else?

@shadowonthesun
He tells his partner he has no money to buy basics for their family but keeps money aside to pay for his eldest child’s whims and fripperies. Yes, that makes him the bad guy. He would be paying bills to house and feed himself if he lived alone anyway, it’s not some massive favour to OP

Are you working?

@Youseethethingis Thank you! And thank you to all I haven't managed to acknowledge or respond to personally.

To answer some more points that have come up and sorry if I miss any! My first pregnancy with our DD I was working up until MAT leave, I was paying the rent/bills/food/council tax. My DP wasn't working at that time but living with me and I also paid for my personal expenses, his personal expenses, and also gave money for what his Daughter needed because he was unable. While pregnant. We lived in a 1 bed flat and moved to a 2 bed house when DD was 3 months old but was in a different area about 50 mins away. This plus finding out I was pregnant again led me to give up my job and the plan was DP to now work and take over with providing. Now it's his turn he cover rent and bills yes, but then covers his personal needs, his own daughters and no one else's.

@shadowonthesun no one has said he is to cover absolutely everything with no contribution from me, the issue is he can help! He can give SOMETHING towards his other 2 children. Not just out of having to but why does he not WANT to? Why does he not see a Teddy or a toy and think DD or DS would love that let me buy it for them. Yet he can see coats and trainers and clothes etc and actually buy it for his DD. I can't get him to pick up an essential here and there for his 2 children but he can buy luxuries ON TOP of the money he already provides for his DD. I don't understand why this is too unreasonable of me to ask. And fyi I pay the council tax still

Rent/bills etc is a given. He is paying the part that he also benefits from. If we didn't have our DC our rent and bills would be exactly the same amount. The point is these 2 babies have needs and wants on top of running the house and I would like some support with that.

Unless you create a consequence for his actions he'll just carry on.