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Lovely Stepdaughters

28 replies

Gooseygoosey12345 · 17/08/2019 09:32

DH has finally got contact with his 2DDs after a very long winded fight for this. Anyway, they are in their early teens and they've been visiting here over the last month-ish. This was by their choice, they had the option to see their dad on their own but chose to come here and meet my DD and their half brother. They are so polite and lovely but they don't really speak much. I totally get this, they seem to not have much self-esteem and they're shy and I understand that it's going to take time to be comfortable here. I just wondered if anyone has any advice at how I can make them feel more at home. I'm not used to shyness, my kids are a bit mad (although kind and well behaved) but they'll talk to anyone. Is there anything I should be doing? I'm just trying to be the best step-mum I can be and we seem to get on well with the little conversation we have had. It's all a bit new to me and I don't want to screw it up.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
swingofthings · 18/08/2019 09:04

You sound like an amazing SM!

BikeRunSki · 18/08/2019 09:22

I was the younger half sibling in a similar situation. Just make them feel at home, welcome them. My older half brothers and I bonded over baking and museums.! It’s a slow burn. Imagine starting a new job in a big corporation. You know you are supposed to fit in (you have been through the recruitment process, or you all have eg: your father in common) but you barely know most of the people there, if any of them. It’s a bit overwhelming and you need to find your feet.

The younger of my 2 half brothers actually moved in his teens, lived with us after he left university and came back when his marriage broke down. Their mum and our dad both died 20+ years ago now (we’re in our 40s and 50s), but DM/their stepmother, has been their stability for much longer time than that. Her love, affection, and Will account for us all equally. DSis (full sibling) wouldn’t have it any other way. Step parenting can work wonderfully, it’s about love and patience. DM said that all she ever expected from the boys was table manners.

Gooseygoosey12345 · 18/08/2019 13:30

@swingofthings thank you so much 

@BikeRunSki that's a really good way of putting it! Thank you for the insight, I'm hoping that's exactly how they feel in the future

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