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Original poster

OMFG I need a rant.

51 replies

Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 17:52

Step daughters here for half term, I am working their dad is not.

Came home from work today and their bedroom door is wide open so I went in to close the window, black sheets on bed COVERED in dog hair (we do not have a dog) and a pair of 14 yr old DDs PJ bottoms in the middle of the floor on full display covered in blood (they were clean, I washed them).

The bathroom has every kind of sanitary pad and tampon you could imagine for them and is it that hard to mention that this has happened as she clearly wasn’t embarrassed about it (nor should she be).

But thats really disgusting Envy not envy.

OP posts:
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CarolDanvers · 30/05/2019 18:16

I think you're being completely over the top. At 14 I was clueless and forgetful with my head in the clouds. I could easily have done similar throughly pure forgetfulness and airy fairy thinking that was on other things like Michael J Fox for example. I think you'd feel very differently if she was your actual dd and not your dsd. Just tell her again, kindly and discreetly that she must clear up after herself.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 18:17

I didn’t feel differently with my own DD and once asked not to do it she didn’t.

OP posts:
Motherof3feminists · 30/05/2019 18:18

That's quite impressive of them to COVER their beds in dog hair just from transfer off the clothes they turn up in. They must look like they are part canine themselves to be covered in that much hair.

The pj/pad thing is grim but maybe she forgot. Or maybe she's mad at you for something and did it on purpose 🤷🏼‍♀️ Yuo only have to breathe to incur wrath with some.

I'm quite impressed that their dad isn't working during the time they are they because for my DD's that is a rarity.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 18:19

He has to take time off to have them as he works away.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 18:19

Although they have come when he isn’t here.

OP posts:
Stiffasaboard · 30/05/2019 18:29

Yeh my Step mum clearly felt like this about me and my siblings
We were always irritating and dirty and messy and revolting. Sure she rolled her eyes subtley but it was very clear.

Luckily for her we ceased contact as soon as we were able and she is now lonely and sad to her hearts content.
My dad remarried again to a wonderful woman who saw us as the kids we were and accepted that our life between two homes wasn’t a bed of roses and we pay her back in spades with much love and care.

Fill your boots OP.
Making them anxious about dog hairs they can’t control and their own bodies as they learn how to manage things (in their own room I add- hardly left on the dinner table were they) is so loving and kind.
They will surely idolise you in return.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 18:31

@Stiffasaboard

That’s utterly unfair.

I have had a rant HERE in a step parenting board (god forbid!) my DSDs know I love them hence they come and stay when their dad isn’t here.

I am not your step mother so take your issues elsewhere.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 30/05/2019 18:35

Your DH is off get him to sort their washing inc. sheets out?

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 20:24

He will when he’s off but he can’t when he’s not here.

OP posts:
Foxmuffin · 30/05/2019 20:30

At 14 I had to do my own washing let alone leaving period stained clothes on the floor. You reach an age where your bodily fluids and excrement are your own responsibility!

I always empty the nappy bin and bathroom bin before the cleaner arrives as I don’t see it as her job!!

Your DH needs to talk to her re her awareness of these things.

Frouby · 30/05/2019 20:34

At 14 I wouldn't expect to find blood soaked clothes laying around, and would expect sanpro to be discreetly thrown away. Dd is the same age. She knows if she leaks to change her bed, and make sure underwear is in the washbasket not on her bedroom floor or the bathroom floor.

It's natural and not to be ashamed of, but neither is poo and I don't expect to see loggers in the loo or skid marked undies left anywhere except the washing basket.

At 14 I would suggest that they get changed when they arrive to minimise the dog hair spreading. Though at 14 I would expect her to not be covered. Our ddog goes on the sofa and even 5 year old ds rolling around literally with the dog in his uniform doesn't get covered.

RandomMess · 30/05/2019 20:34

I guess time for them to to start washing their own stuff it is a life skill that has to be learnt at some point so get your DH to teach them now?

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 20:50

Omg have had this argument with him.

All my kids did their own washing from about 13/14 and changed their own beds which DH was a massive, enthusiast supporter of.

He refuses to teach his DDs to iron or use the washing machine and rushes around doing it for them while they sit on their iPhones.

OP posts:
Foxmuffin · 30/05/2019 20:54

Leave it for your DH to deal with then.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 20:56

I can this week but when they all leave on a Sunday it’s me Sad

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RandomMess · 30/05/2019 20:57

Well I would leave all their washing until he gets back then even if it meant buying more sheets etc Grin

BoysAreEasier · 30/05/2019 20:57

I know how you're feeling @Iamnotagoddess
I have a very similar problem here!

donajimena · 30/05/2019 21:02

My partners daughter leaves pads everywhere. At her house (her sister dobbed her in) I wouldn't have dreamt of doing it when I was a teen.

Singlenotsingle · 30/05/2019 21:22

I'd be leaving all their washing as well. Their job to change the sheets and put a wash on, and if they don't do it, it doesn't get done. I wouldn't be buying new sheets though, Random.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 21:26

@RandomMess

Love this Grin

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 30/05/2019 21:45

I wouldn't be washing my own 14 yo child's bloody clothing, so certainly wouldn't for a stepchild.

Show her how to use the washing machine or she can take her dirty laundry to where she permanently lives.

I'd prefer my DD to bring bloodstained clothes home to wash, rather than have a SM do it.

I would leave the dirty stuff just where it was.

Original poster
Iamnotagoddess · 30/05/2019 21:48

I treat my step kids exactly the same as my own kids.

I think it would be better for her to know how to use the machine then she wouldn’t even have to discuss it with me or her dad if she didn’t want to but her dad thinks it’s slavery to do this Hmm

OP posts:
RandomMess · 30/05/2019 21:53

Well seriously buy some more sheets and perhaps ask her if she wants to know how to use the machine?

Got pants we have a cold water soaking bucket but nothing gets washed unless DC put stuff in the washing baskets/bucket...

Singlenotsingle · 30/05/2019 21:59

This girl is 14 OP! Does her DF think other people are going to clear up after her and do her washing forever? It's part of a parent's duty to teach the dc how to look after themselves. (And that's boys as well as girls). It's neglect if they dont!

Kaddm · 30/05/2019 22:08

Well re the dog hair, I think you need to sit them down and say, girls I’m really sorry but I have a bit of a thing with dog hair and would you mind changing when you get here so I don’t stress about it going everywhere. You could offer them a shopping trip for a new outfit each to acknowledge the give and take.

Re the blood stain, well it was probably overflow from a towel. It happens. Teach them what to do with it. Either get it straight in the wash on its own or whatever you do with stains, soaking or whatever.

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