We live in a northern country where it's cold pretty much for a about 6 months. Typically in winter, children wear their winter jacket, snow pants, a neck warmer, warm gloves, warm socks, etc. And typically, they just live the house dressed up wherever they go.
So it's the third winter at least that I see SD (who's now 12) coming to our house underdressed. Her parents come from Cuba, but it's not an excuse, the've been here for 8 years. She comes EOW.
She wears thin low socks, thin pants, no leggings, often doesn't bring snowpants, no scarf, thin gloves, not very warm jacket.... And obviously, she freezes. I often lend her my son's or my things, but this year, I don't have snow pants her size. She has warm things at home apparently, but her mother never checks if she's well dressed. I sometimes remind my DP to check if she takes snow pants, but I can't start enumerating all the winter items she needs and sometimes, he picks her up from mother's friend's house or the mother brings her, so he can't check how she's dressed.
Now, I'm thinking, is the mother supposed to check if her daughter is dressed appropriately? My mother always did and I do it with my son. I even do it with SD, but when I have to dress my 1 y old and fight with my 10 y old, I miss some items and last time we went to have an activity outside, she just wanted to go home because she was cold.
DP used to justify the ex by telling me that his daughter is like him, never cold, but SD is afraid of him, so she doesn't complain to him. And he doesn't say anything to his ex. We try to tell SD to take winter things, but she's still a child and she forgets.