Handing over DSC

[worriedandstressedAAA]

DSC are 15 and 13 and are with us 50 % of the time. DH still picks them up and drops them off at their mum's house rather than then getting the tube or bus (we live in London and it's a 30-40 minute journey). At which point can I expect DSC to come and go by themselves? They travel to school by themselves on the tube so just seems a bit off that DH still does formal pick-up and drop offs.

Do you get 1.5hr 2x per week to yourself when he takes care of the younger 3? That would be a key for me.

No. 30-40 minutes to himself while driving back from the drop off. The other 30-40 minutes are with his children in the car. Not to himself.

And if he doesn't agree? Or it's not practical, or it's not actually what OP wants? Then what?

Only the baby is a shared child. The older two are OP's only. You can't be suggesting that the SC have to forfeit lifts and alone time with their dad , because OP wants him home parenting her kids and their shared baby? Or that in hindsight, Dad having another baby means changing their routine as SM no longer likes it?

I went between 2 homes and it would have felt horrible to get public transport on changeover day. As a pp said the transition between the homes is important. I can't believe someone sent her 9 year old on the train....These are children, not some sort of inconvenient guest.

Considering the kids don't live with him full time, it's surely not too much trouble is it?

If you want one to one time with your DC, why don't you have it?

Do they keep clothes and all their stuff at your house? I imagine that they have stuff to carry which can be a hassle on public transport.

I think not picking them up can give the impression he's not that bothered about seeing them.

If there's no conflict with his Ex, then it's a good opportunity to catch up with his Ex to discuss the kids.

Between him and his DCs I would imagine. If your DCs DF is in the picture, maybe get him to parent your dcs on those days?

My partner's kids live in the city and we, in the suburbs and it's always him to picks up SD and brings her back and during the same trip, visits sons (16 and 18). That takes at least 5 hrs. We also have a 1 y.o. and I used to feel annoyed that the exes never move their arses to ever bring them, but my partner considers that it's his job and he likes it. And of course, he socialises with the exes too (there are 2 of them). That's it, that's all. Well, I decided to not do any chores while he's gone, just concentrate on having nice time with my 2 kids and I started liking these evenings. If you feel "stuck" with the kids, find an excuse to go somewhere alone during the weekend, his sons are old enough to help out with the toddler.

Be glad he’s not my DH who has a 240 mile round trip 🤦‍♀️ He’s out of the house 5 hours when he drops them off. 9/10 I go with him to be fair but there’s the odd occasion when i’m Unable and it’s just me in the house as DS is off playing sport or flirting with the ladies 💓

Im sure the original thread says they have the children 50/50 so alot of presumptions here unless I'm missing something.

If that is the case why doesn't the other parent do any pick ups/drop offs?

Life can get so busy I can imagine with 5 children 1 of them a baby and it can get frustrating having to do all of the travelling.

My partner does all the travelling and his ex won't lift a finger, can be so bloody annoying