Blended family Will advice - who gets what money!

[BackAwayFatty]

Hi,

Not sure where's best to post this but hoping you guys can help!

We're a family of 5. Myself, DP, DD(9), DSS(7) & DSS(5). Have DD 6 days a week & DSS's 3 days a week. We will have another child in the next year or so (had a recent miscarriage so see what happens).

We will marry but not for a couple of years due to finances.

About to buy a house in the new year and need to consider what our wills should say.

I currently have 100k life insurance which pays out to my daughter. DP has no life insurance. Both have own insurances from work which go to our own kids. My car & pension would currently go to my DD.

What would you stipulate on the Will?

I would have life insurance to pay out to my own children and your partner should do the same as it ensures whoever looked after them would have the funds to raise them. The house id split between all your children if you are buying together.

I would also speak to the solicitor and make damn sure if I died the money would get to my children. I wouldn't trust someone else to put my children first an unknown amount of time in the future.

I would spilt everything 50/50 then each half is split between that persons children. So your half goes to DD, his half is split between your DSS’s. If you have a joint child, s/he would get half of your half plus one third of his half.

I know many people don’t see this as fair but to my mind, everyone getting an equal split of their two biological parents assets is the only way that makes sense. Even if, for example, the step kids were not provided for by their mum in her will, it shouldn’t be for your DD and any future child to lose out on what’s theirs to make up for it.

Thank you for replying! Definitely food for thought.

Probably swaying more towards @lunar1. We very much see the children as ours but very aware that you never know what the future holds and wanna make sure their share of inheritance is protected should one of us remarry after a death of the other type thing.

My parents have put their house in trust to their children as an equal split and I like the idea of that.

Having separate inheritance feels okay just now but I think about how my DSS's would feel on years to come if I were to die & my DD got 100k and they got nothing!.

How hard! We don't have anyone in our family with a similar situation to ask.

My sil/bill had a similar set up.

They've done it so that theoretically half of any savings/house is his and half hers.

She leaves all of her half split between all of her biological children, he leaves all of his half split between his biological children.

So the kids they have together will end up having more.....however they also have other parents who they will inherit (possibly) from.

My sil did very much feel that she had put half the money into the house and that her half was for her kids, not her step kids. Her step kids were older teens when she got with their dad though so it's not like she's ever had them living in the house much/brought them up.

Are you going and healthy? Life assurance is cheap as chips if you both are. Work out what money is needed for who in the event of either of you dying and get the right amount of insurance.

Why should your SC benefit from your death? Your life insurance should go to your biological children. Anything after that, we’ll mysbe the 50/50 and leave to each of your Dc makes sensé

Thanks for everyone's views.

We're both relatively young, I'm 29 & DP 33.
I'm very much a planner & consider my DD's future a lot. I was a single parent for many years before meeting DP & ex wasn't always around (he has been better the last 3 years).

My parents have recently written their Will & are helping with the deposit for our house. A conversation with them got me thinking.

We've discussed insurance which pays off the mortgage & ensures the living one gets to stay in the house. House then in trust & split between all 4 (3 current & 1 future child) upon the death of living parent. Both agree on this part so far.

Don't want to take into account any potential inheritance from their non resident parents. No one really knows what they may or may not inherit from their other side of the family.

I'm undecided about the life insurance policies & who they should cover for each policy.

Maybe we just get a policy for everything

Honestly I think the fair thing here is (if you and your DP’s assets are equal) that your assets to be split between your natural kids including the new kid and his assets be split between his kids. Any joint assets can then be divided equally between all of them.

Of course done this way, your dd wouldn’t benefit from your DP’s death. But that’s fine as his kids wouldn’t benefit from yours.

I would say that you get joint decreasing life insurance to cover the mortgage, and leave the house to each other. Your works pensions should go to each other too, I know with mine it can only be paid to a child as long as they are in full time education, but goes to a spouse for their life.
I would look at all the other money that would be in your estate should you die, and that should go directly to your children, so if it was say £200k, your DD would get it all, his £200k would be split between his. If you have another child between you, their share could be held in trust by the surviving parent.
However, if it were me, I would also leave a set amount to my stepchildren, say fifty thousand. You can get cheap life insurance to cover that. Be careful though. My fathers will stated an amount for each of his grandchildren, and the remaining for his children. He actually didn't leave very much so they got a few hundred and we, his children, got nothing.
My DH and I were in this position 25 years ago. Now our recently made wills just split everything between each other, and a set amount to our children one of whom is his step daughter. Over the years, it all evens out.
My sister died when her children were teens, her will left everything to her partner. He married a year after she died and they have not seen a penny of th money. He's gone on to have 2 more children who live in the house he paid for with my sisters money. (I'm not at all angry about this)😫

@Soontobe60 the scenario with your sister is exactly what I want to avoid. I want to make sure my DD's inheritance doesn't bypass her should I die, everything go to DP & he remarry.

We're not big earners so not lots of money to consider at the moment but you never know what the future holds.

I've not considered until now that we can set something up now we agree on but ultimately if I were to go first & I leave the house to DP/in trust to children he is able to change it thereafter.

Don't get me wrong I trust DP 100% but gotta put my DD first.

My (middle-aged) friend's dad died recently. Her mum died years ago and he remarried. His children are getting nothing from his estate. It's all going to the new wife, and presumably her own children. (Friend's dad and new wife have no children together, both have children from previous relationships).

I'm planning to leave vast majority to DH. Have a life insurance and death in service benefit and our mortgage is insured too. Our son is young and he would have to raise him so really he would need the money. I would leave around 40k for SD to help her with a house deposit and maybe double that to DS for when he graduates/is 18.

The real problem is to write a will if we BOTH die..it would be much more difficult then..

Not thought about life insurance (good point) but will is on the to do list for the New Year. My DS is to get 50% of equity in the house and DSS and DSD will get 25% each. I don’t feel the tiniest bit guilty as my son may only inherit from me plus DSD can be vile to me and DH.

We have 6 between us. 4 mine, 2 my DH’s. we raised all 6 together. Everything will be left in 6 equal shares. We know it’s unusual but we treat them alike and they refer to each other as siblings.

Same here- 5 between us none together, not raised together but will be split 5 ways.

We have 3 between us, my 2 DSD and our DD.

We both have separate life insurance policies and our house.

If in the event we both pass the policies and the house is split evenly 3 ways. A % will go to my Dsis who is named as DD legal guardian in this event to raise her, same to DH ExW who will obviously raise DSD. We will review this every couple of years as all DC get older and money will be taken from the raising funds and put in their trusts as what would be needed right now will not be the same in 3-5 years (hope that makes sense) The rest is in trusts of which they get a % when they turn 18 for university/travel whatever they choose then the rest comes aged 25 when we feel they would be sensible enough to invest/buy a house etc.

If in the event I pass my share of the house goes to DH and my life insurance is split 4 ways, between him and the 3 girls, same principle applies. His % is to continue to raise DD, the girls get a split % at 18 and 25.

I love my DSD fiercely and although not mine I could never imagine treating them any different.

If in the event DH dies the exact same thing happens house is left to me and life insurance is split 4 ways, my % to continue to raise DD and the girls get their share in stages. What we have done though is take out a smaller life insurance policy that DH ExW would receive to raise the girls. DH is a high earner so loss of child maintenance would have an effect on the girls lives. This again will also be reviewed as they get older.

We trust that in the event of either of our deaths the girls will not be written out of the will and treated fairly where the house is concerned, I'm only 33 and DH 40 so this will is very much for the circumstances now but it will evolve as we get older.

If you are putting equal money into the house I would have 50% to your DD and 25% each to you DSS's. In 15 years or so when they are all adults you can revise it to 33% each if you want to, or if you have another child between you, they can have 25% each. Your life insurance should all go to your daughter, if you would let you DP live in the property indefinitely she may not get anything from it until she is 60.

We have a DS from my first marriage and a dd who is Dh’s

We have split everything 50/50 between them both as they have grown up together and treating them differently seems unfair.

However, crucially, my ex dh (dh1) is doing the same: leaving 50% to DS (who is his) and 50% to DD (who is not, dh2 is her father).

Do you need to consider the cash your parents are providing as part of the house deposit? Is that a loan, or need to be "ring-fenced" in any way? Is it "yours" rather than joint with DP, thus are you putting more into the house deposit than him, which you'd want reflected in the will?

Life insurance - consider what sums you need to pay off mortgage, which is what most couples with children would plan on such that it allows the surviving parent to worry less about earning a salary sufficient to keep the mortgage on. You mention a life insurance sum being paid out to DD? Consider what's the for .... you die, she gets a lump sum. Why? Not a facetious question, but that's a monthly payment for the insurance you need to consider if it's still relevant.

We are a blended family. I have two children, DH has none. If I die first, DH gets 50% outright and a lifetime interest in the next 50%. Then the children are guaranteed their share. If DH dies first, I get the everything and then it passes down to the children.

Everything goes to DH, then when he dies a 50/50 split between DSS and DS. His is a mirror of mine. We treat both DC the same, and are both happy that the other would follow the others wishes.