Do your Step kids have two birthday parties?

[Digitallife27]

Just wondering really.

My DD is turning one so as a first time mum I'm making a bit of an effort with it because it's a first birthday. BBQ, our friends who have kids etc. It won't be like this for future birthdays for DD - just close family and some food.

My DH is suggesting we have something similar (the big deal event) for DSD for her birthdays... thing is, her mum organises her birthday every year and we get the text to say "yep, we're doing this this year and it'll start at this time" type of thing. DH has some input in it but it's mainly organised by her mum (understandable because I'm organising this birthday for our DD and my DH has had minimal input).

Do your step children get two birthday parties? I don't see how it would be fair for the other children in the family who only have one party.

i think I feel a bit irked as well because DD's birthday was actually on Thursday, it's school holidays, my DH's sister and kids came up to see DD briefly and other family members popped by as well but DSD's mum didn't make any contact about bringing DSD up so she didn't even see her sister on her birthday. It's not like we don't get on either. She's also taken Dsd away camping for the weekend and said they'd be back by Sunday in time for the BBQ...she's known for her bad time keeping (example: bring her back for 7.30pm but gets her back at 8.45pm). It's kinda annoying because DD won't have had chance to wash or get the chance to wear the nice dress DH bought her (it ended up at her mums house). There have been times when they've done this sort of trip and DSD gets dropped off at ours with the first words "she needs a wash". FYI, her mum's known about this BBQ since April.

Now DSD is at school we just do a big joint party for family/school friends.

Luckily we all get on very well so it's just a mucky mixture of everyone from both sides

My DH has DSD 4 nights a week and both parents see her on her birthday so we do a party in the afternoon, one will take her to the party and the other will take her home from it.

My DSC don't have two parties as such - their mum will throw a party for them and then when we see them next we invited DPs family round to see the birthday child and give presents so in a essence they have two birthdays but not parties - ours is a drop in when you can type or we'll meet at a restaurant whereas their mum organises invites for friends at school/her family. My DS gets two birthdays too depending on whether we have the SC or not so if not then DS gets presents to open another day with his siblings there.

Yes I go to the birthday party organised by DSD's mum. Have done since I got with DH.

Oh yeah, so if DSD is with us on her birthday then she'll stay round ours but we take her to the party organised by her mum and usually she'll go back with her mum afterwards if it's her mum's night.

DSS does get a party with us, but we live 200+ miles away from his mum so we can't go to his 'friends' party. We do a family do for DH's side of the family instead.

But some of that is also because they all love a party 😁

we do alternate Christmas’ so DSD gets 2 of them a year. We don't do two birthdays though.

Her mum always organises a party for her and her school friends, cousins etc. We don't see the point in having another party for her. We’ll have a nice day with her and go somewhere for a day out and then she’ll open her presents and we might go somewhere for tea but another party sounds a bit excessive to me.

I think a lot of the time, the children who are still in the family home get overlooked. People overcompensate when a child doesn't live with both parents full time, I'm afraid I've seen what that does, it gives them the mindset that they get two of everything, they're top dog and the half-siblings are the underdog. Something similar happened to my cousin, she was spoiled and thought she was better than everyone else. She's in her thirties now and still as entitled as ever!

Oh, and as a stepchild myself, I never had more than one party. I never expected more than one, in fact, I considered myself lucky that I was fortunate enough to have a mother who would throw me a party.

God, first world problems!!

My OH and his EW had a very bitter divorce and she would never invite him (the dad) to kids parties etc. God knows what will happen at weddings etc....

We celebrate separately with the kids. Their birthdays are a few days apart so we take them out to celebrate (like afternoon tea etc or a restaurant of their choice).

My friend's parents are split and it's not civil. They can't even be in the same room together. She's fretting about what to do for her wedding day. Can't imagine how difficult that is.

@Iswallowtoothpaste I can see what you mean, I mean DSD is a pretty good kid overall but she does get more attention/money spent on her and for some stuff she's not even grateful. DH's mum buys her school shoes each year (Clarks) and after two months she refuses to wear them and resorts to trainers. 🙄

If my partner wanted his children to have a party for their birthday I would be fine with that. However, he would be doing the organising and I would help with food etc. I would not be picking and buying present's though. Probably because I have 5 children and not keen on shopping