Hi i'm new on here so stick with me!
I don't want this to be a b**y rant but im so frustrated with this person and their entitlement.
I am a mum to a delightful 9 month old and my husband has a 12 yo from a previous relationship. I've been with my husband 7 years now (married for 3) and from day one his ex (mother of his child) has just been an interfering nightmare - to begin with this was understandable, but she has just got worse over the years. We had a complete blow over it a few months ago so thank god I hardly have to communicate with the woman but she will still be a part of our life (albeit a pain in the a**).
Opinions on how you would handle this situation would be appreciated!
Without going into a barrage of detail, she is wanting to control our household and talks at us like we are dysfunctional teenagers - given me and my OH are in our 30s/40s and married, is just silly! To set the scene on the mentality of this woman she has publicly admitted on social media to spitting on homemade food she made for someone, finding it funny and acceptable as she didn't like them.
She has a strong sense of entitlement and is no less of a sponger - from the bank of mum and dad (who funnily happen to be her landlord), she works 16 hours and claims benefits and cries the poor tale to my husband despite funding quite a cushy lifestyle for herself (despite my husband having always overpaid CSA, bought clothes for his daughter which we never see again and his daughter gets treats/trips out when with us on a weekend when we have any disposable income to spoil her with).
Since me and my husband had a baby last year she has got worse and has no respect for us or our household given that we have a baby - I don't expect her to like the fact and I don't care but I would expect her to act like an adult - I have always taken on board her wishes for her child and respected that but she is completely ignorant of this, us and our baby and just messes us about all of the time. At times my husband has been on the bus to her house to see his daughter and she has messaged last minute not to bother coming as their daughter is ill or on allocated weekends he has to wait last minute on a Saturday morning to know whether he can go get his daughter or not - over the years she has self diagnosed her daughter with the A-Z of illness (the girl is a walking miracle) so this impacts on whether my husband can see his child or not. At Christmas we took the ex a gift along with his daughters gifts on Christmas morning. The ex left her daughter in the living room by herself to greet us, as she had shut herself in her bedroom because we were there with our baby and did not come out the entire time we were there - there was no civil hello, merry Christmas or thank you from her which I find very petty (given that me and my OH have been together for 7 years now) and after 3 years of me and my OH dating she wanted to 'vet' me which turned into a session all about her and slagging of my OH and his 'ability' as a dad.
I have recently found out that she has been bitching about me and my ex on social media since at least 2015 (I blocked her a long time ago but we have mutual friends who have shown me screenshots of what she has been saying. My husband also had to block her and most of their mutual friends years ago as they were telling her about our relationship and she didn't like it). Again I find this very petty and ridiculous. I also don't find it acceptable for her to be putting awful, nasty comments about her daughters dad and airing his personal business on Facebook where their daughter and their daughters friends may end up seeing these. Also what on earth is she telling their child if she is spouting stuff on Facebook?
The blow we had earlier this year was because I asked her twice (politely) to give any medication that her daughter might bring over to our house to my husband and in its box to ensure we know what she is on, side effects and it is the best way to keep it safe. I then found out she did not do this, giving the pills cut out in an envelope with written instructions to her daughter and they were given to her daughter (a minor) - she then left them lying around our house for our crawling son to get hold of, of course I was absolutely furious with the ex and I immediately locked them in our medicine cupboard out of harms way- the ex then had the nerve to have a go at me about it and insinuate that I am mentally unstable (sigh).
Do we turn a blind eye to this and leave her to it in the hope she will eventually get bored? or do we have it out - given that it probably won't change anything as it's already been 7 years? Who knows