Will a Contact Order work?

[FourDebSake]

My DP has been battered and bullied by his ex for several years now, whilst trying to get regular contact with his two DD and of course since we have got together in the last twelve months it has deteriorated to intolerable levels. His EW and her new husband have been aggressive and threatening towards him, which is unacceptable, but par for the course I suppose. Anyway things have reached a point where he has decided to go for a Contact Order which has not been plain sailing so far, however now she has made an allegation of assault - that he assaulted his DD when the two of them were in our care - it is heartbreaking to hear what she has manipulated and coerced the children into thinking and saying about him. What can we do when we cannot see them or speak to them to tell them we love them?? It is an absolute fact that he has never hurt them, this alleged incident simply never happened, there is not a mean bone in his body.
I wonder if anyone else has experienced this and whether a Contact Order will actually help? I just want to know if there may be light at the end of this very dark tunnel....

thank you

thanks everyone for helping me to talk about this, it's such an emotional subject and your friends and family get really upset, it's great to communicate with people who understand and will not be upset. just to be clear, I was present when the alleged assault was supposed to have happened, I mean all the time. I am a DV survivor, I am no novice! thank you again lovely ladies x

OP, you still haven't said whether the police or children's services are involved?

And the age of the children.

How old are the dc in question? This would make a big difference to say 5 and 12?

First, there was no incident, I mentioned it to illustrate how resistant to contact she is. I wondered if a contact order would work even against such strong resistance. on another note, ladies, mind out for those tricky double standards..... I mean how many times have you heard "you come as a package, he wants you he had to want the kids in their entirety too" and various permutations of the same, and yet some of you are telling me to take a step back from his kids.... you know, I'm as committed to him and his children as he is committed to me and mine. I am a very lucky woman.

Yes I know that you are saying that there was no incident but the EXW/children are alleging that there was, so has she reported her allegations to the police or children's services? This is relevant to your DP making an application for a child arrangements order, by the way. If she brings up the alleged incident, questions will be asked about why she didn't report to the relevant authorities.

I don't think people are asking you to step back from his kids, I think the advice has been to just be careful about the fact that thereu
are allegations against your Dp abusing his children. A partner you've not been with for very long at all... maybe the ex is hesitant because there is something to the allegations, either now, or historically. I certainly wouldn't advise stepping away form his kids specifically, but just taking a moment to wonder why such a serious allegation has come up.

As I said before and I'll say again, there are women who make up abuse allegations, but they are the minority. I think everyone is just asking you, for your own well being to look at the allegation with a critical eye.

Indeed, the advice is not to step back from the children but to step back from the conflict. It's not your battle, it's your OH, don't make it yours when you are still working on building a relationship.

Right now, you are still madly in love, thinking your OH can do no wrong and therefore the ex can only be a horrible woman. Most likely, the reality is somewhere in between. Be a supportive partner, there for him when he is frustrated, need to vent, need advice, but don't let him transfer his anger and frustration to you so that you can take on the battle with, or for him.