I have been with dh for 24 years. His dd is 27. His relationship with dd's mum has been awful from (according to him ) before dsd was even born and they split up when she was a few months old. Dsd's mum hated dh always and no matter what he did, it was wrong. When I met him I was excited to meet (now) dsd and she was a sweet little girl, really easy and like her father. As the years went by her mother caused hideous upset with dh, dsd and dh's parents. They were wrong, wrong, wrong no matter the situation or the efforts they made to rectify it. They (DH's family) accepted it all with bowed heads: we're sorry, we'll try harder sort of attitude. Dh paid always for dsd but it was never enough (despite being over the ordered amount whenever possible). It made for a difficult time but dsd was sweet and so, so good up until her teens. Then she adopted her mothers attitude towards me. I was to blame for all of the troubles in their lives, I was the reason he didn't see her enough, didn't pay her enough, etc. Dh is kind and soft and often he too would blame me because I was there really and well, he's a bit after the easy option like that. It got to the point that life was just easier when dsd's mum was incommunicado (for whatever perceived slight we had caused). As dsd got into her late teens she began to treat dh with the same disgust and disdain her mother does. That hasn't really changed but occasionally she throws him the odd scrap of civil treatment and you'd swear he won the lottery when she does. As recently as last summer she was beyond vile to him and he, who wants so badly to love her and be loved by her, said to me (and he tells me very little wrt her because I cannot help from showing my feelings in my facial expression) she spoke to me like I was something smelly she'd stepped in. He was shocked and so hurt. He still always texts her, how are you, how's life, do you need anything, etc regardless of how scathing she is towards him and most of the time she ignores him but occasionally she answers with minimal details (ie he doesn't know where she works, what she studied despite paying fees, where she lives, etc). Now however is one of those times she is interested. She wants to come and visit (or he wants her to and she has not said no) and he is overjoyed. I mean he is like a love sick puppy over this. For the past ten years anytime she has come to stay she has stayed with his parents but they have moved into a retirement village 2 hours away from here and he thinks she will stay with us. The thing is she blanks me completely as though I am not there and she has minimal interest in our children, they are equally not interested in her as they have seen her behaviour over the years and well she's not interested in them, and their dad had zero interest in them (or anything else) when she's around. Because she would stay with his parents he would disappear for the length of her visit to their house (she refused to come to ours because I was there) and come back all starry eyed about her when she left. So, my parents have a small flat near us they use whenever they visit and I want to offer it to her for her visit rather than have her stay with us where she and I be forced to meet in the kitchen for the first conversation in ten years, so she'd be self catering for her stay. Dh imagines happy families where we would all be thrilled to sit and gaze at her in wonder around the table and have her have dd's bedroom. Teenage dc are not impressed by this idea. I want to do the right thing, what do you think that is? I am afraid I cant see the woods for the trees at this stage and get so irritated by dh's besottedness that I cannot see what I should do.