Another wills one

[AnneLovesGilbert]

DH and I are about to draw up wills and there are things I'm not sure about which I feel like we should discuss before we meet the lawyer.

We're buying a house and that's going to be the only real asset. Small stuff like a family ring will go to my Dsis.

DH has two young DC. If he dies first he wants me to be able to stay in the house as long as I want, for his assets to pass to me, and then when I die, for mine to pass to the DC - his for now and then any we might have. If I die first he gets the house and again, assets will go to all DC when he goes.

He currently pays child support and spousal support, the court order says if he dies that's the end of both. Yes, he won't be here to pay his ex anything, but they won't stop costing her money either. I've heard of people insuring maintenance payments but the order specifically says she gets nothing if he dies.

If we die together while the DC are still young, do we put what we have in trust with someone and our assets go to them when they're old enough? Not their DM but maybe one of the god parents? How many SMs without their own DC are planning to leave everything they have to their DSC? Is it different if you have DSC and DC of your own?

Yes you can get insurance that does exactly that. I have a decreasing term policy for exactly the reason of providing for my child in the event of my death - decreasing because the older she is, the less absolute money she will need.

He should provide for you separately from the children. If he were to die in the short term, there is the potential that you could go on to marry and have another family.

Not that you would but me friends dad died in a similar circumstance and everything had been left to the wife (step mum) with the agreement that she will leave his assets to the children in the future. The stepmum has completely cut off my friend and her siblings, they won't see any money from their dads estate.

I have a 100k insurance policy for 35 years which I only pay £6 for. Something like that would ensure that his ex had enough money to get them to adulthood and a decent amount of savings for them. Yes the ex may benefit but at least you wouldn't have to worry about a claim being made against what you are left.

I would be homeless if my DP died tomorrow, and we have a young child together. His children would get the proceeds from the house, and they are all adults now. He has a policy which will pay off the mortgage on his death, unfortunately that doesn't include me!

Wills and insurance are important to get right for all aren't they. But you shouldn't be homeless OP, or feel that your DSCs need to inherit your share, only if you want to.

I'm sorry to see nothing's changed Bananas. You know what though, you would NOT be homeless as you would have every likelihood of successfully challenging his will on behalf of you and your dc if he has not made reasonable provision for you. Google "reasonable provision" and have a read.

We own our house as tenants in common. DP has a child from a previous relationship and we intend to have one together in the next 18 months or so. Our wills state that if one of us dies the other can stay in the house for as long as they want, but once the house is sold our halves each go to our next of kin. So at present, 50% of the proceeds would be put in trust for DSD and my sister would get my half. If/when we have our child, DP's half would be split between DSD and our child and my half would go directly to our child. So our (at this stage imaginary) child would get 75% of the proceeds and DSD would get 25%.

DSD would also benefit from DP's life assurance at work - she gets 90% and I get 10% and the arrangement is reciprocal so he'd also get 10% of mine as our situation stands.

I love DSD very much, but it's for her parents to make provisions for her should both or one of them die, not me.

Thanks Hormonal - I will have a read!

lambly I do think that sounds fair - I'd like that I think and maybe OP could consider it - working out the share of assets e.g. 50/50 - then being tenants in common, and leaving your own share to whoever you feel.

That way, no one has to take care of other people's children, unless they want to, and everyone's children's share is totally protected.

I suppose the problem is that all circumstances are so different.

We own our house as tenants in common on 50/50 shares. I paid for my share, dp had to get a mortgage to cover his, which obviously I also have to be on. He pays it. We have life insurance to pay it off if he dies (but not me, as he would be in the same position financially as he is with me alive). I didn't bother with reducing term insurance so there would be, currently, an extra £20k there which would then be used to pay out any outstanding maintenance due. dss is 15 so not long to go.

I have left my half of the house to dp, dp has left his to me. Neither wants the other to lose their home when one dies. We have each both left it to dss as the secondary beneficiary. I thought long and hard about this but in the end decided it was what I wanted. Means if dp and I both die together then dss inherits the house straightaway.

I have savings equivalent to the value of my share of the house anyway so I have allocated them a small part to dp, then a specific bequest to my godson and the rest (75%) split 50/50 to my niece and nephew. Nothing to dss though obviously dp can gift him from his share if he wishes.

dp has left his first £20k to dss (he hasn't got £20k....) and the rest 50/50 between me and dss. I am dss trustee, not the ex. If I am gone too it is dp's sister.

I have left my pensions (which are separate to wills - I don't have any death in service) two to dp, and the other two 50/50 to dp and my sister (my sister has recently had a financial crisis - I don't want to go to the hassle of changing my will so leaving half of my pension is easier and evens things out). Dp knows this. Niece and nephew can also support their mum from the cash they get, should they wish to.

If her circs change again I will change this all back to just dp.

We don't have any joint children, nor will we, and I don't have any of my own.

It is worth taking insurance as the child/other parent can sue the estate if they are a dependent and have no t been properly provided for - if there is money in the estate that is. I am assuming the £20k plus any leftover insurance money which i would gift to the ex, would cover it (well, doing the maths,m it more than does actually, even if it's paid til he is 18).