AIBU to think this is inconsiderate.

[HorseyGal]

I'm 33 weeks pregnant with twins, I've had a pretty easy pregnancy so far really but am getting quite tired & uncomfortable now. Not sleeping too well & it's starting to take it's toll!
I live with DP and we have his DS (7) and DD (9) stay every weekend.
This morning at 6am they were all up and playing cards, with the TV on in the living room (we're in a bungalow & I was sleeping in bedroom just across the hall). They were all talking & playing in normal voices, doors open, like it was the middle of the day which woke me up & I couldn't sleep after that at all. I'd probably had 4 hours sleep in between cramps & trips to the loo so I wasn't especially jovial!

When I said to DP that they weren't being very considerate this morning, it turned into a rant from DP about his children not doing anything wrong & that I should get used to it because sleep deprivation will be much worse when the twins are here. Of course I know it will be, but I said I would expect everyone in the household to be considerate of other people sleeping, whether there are twins in the house or not!
I really would expect my partner to have some consideration, especially with my current heavily pregnant status and to keep the noise down and tell my DSS & DSD to do the same!

It seems I'm not allowed to say anything 'critical' of his children without it causing an argument. We've been living together for 3 years now & I treat them as much as I can as if they're my own, we are close and I do tell them off etc as needs be, as I would my own children. I do school runs to help his ex, go to school events etc to support them, so we're really pretty lucky as blended families go, but I feel like I have no support here and his children can do no wrong at the moment!

AIBU or would you also be a bit upset by this?

I think at 7 and 9 they are old enough to show some consideration. we have a colour clock Red= stay in bed Orange= get up but play quietly and Green = normal day begins. simple and effective. Also your DP should be looking after you, I'm NOT pregnant and I get to stay in bed and get a coffee while he looks after HIS kids

You aren't being unreasonable. But tackling the situation head on doesn't always pay. A Dad is always going to be ridiculously defensive about his kids. Smarten up and toughen up. I did and kind of survived!

Show rather than tell - ie. Be tired the whole day - don't do anything for DH 'because of tiredness', anything for kids that day, no cooking. Basically be a pain! Give DH the motivation to next time close the door.

Use anything like ear plugs, let's face it you are pregnant with twins, your health and stress levels trump everything else at the moment and for a while to come. Take your own needs and your babies super, super seriously and protect them at all costs. If you can avoid a fight, avoid it. Start planning ahead and try to avoid any other situations. If your DH is likely to keep you and the babies awake in the future through thoughtlessness and his kids, then make sure you wake him for the night feeds, don't wash anything except your and babies stuff, give him the pram and tell him to go out to the park with the kids and babies.

Basically make him appreciate your position. Through stealth!

7 and. 9 year olds are mature enough to keep the noise down if asked. Sounds like their father couldn't be arsed to be considerate.
Encourage a lovely noisy board game next time he wants a nap.

Fuck sake OP. !! You sound saintly. As a fully fledged wicked step mother, I can tell you I would have lost the plot. 7 & 9 ? are not 2& 4 (and even then they would be being taught consideration for others)
The rules n our house were. (For ALL dcs - mine and his)

1. If awake before 7 am then read in bed, or play on Nintendo /game boy type thing with ear phones
2. Allowed up at 7am to watch tv downstairs quietly.
3. Any shouting/screeching - then back to their rooms until learnt to behave and consider others.

And we weren't even expecting babies. - your dp is exhibiting classic guilty dad behaviour. It does no one any favours.

Why on earth are you doing all the housework and shopping?

Yanbu at all, as others have said 7 and 9 is old enough to know when is a reasonable time to get up and to be able to entertain themselves quietly for a couple of hours.

Not the fault of the kids as they are following the lead of their Dad but he needs to agree morning ground rules for the house with you and then you both need to stick together in enforcing them

I don't know how you are managing housework and shopping. At 33 weeks, I was getting DS(2) and myself breakfasted, washed and dressed, flaked out until lunch, went to toddler group, made tea and flaked out for the day. All on little sleep because DS did not sleep well and I was too uncomfortable.

I had a cleaner once a week and DH helped with the shopping and did DS's bedtime. Walking up the stairs was a major operation .

It was a huge improvement after they were born (except the sleep - planned for the longterm there.)

Oh Cherylene I feel for you, I know have been really lucky! I sleep pretty OK a lot of nights, mixed in with some uncomfortable nights, but the good ones in-between keep me going.
And it must be SO much harder with a 2 year old in tow too!

One advantage of a bungalow - no stairs - but as per original post you do tend to get woken up earlier when the others are awake!!!!!!

I do also have a horse I am still looking after, although I have help with the heavy lifting now! As I am pretty fit and active I think that has really helped me, but I know I've had a lot of good luck with not getting bad symptoms

I don't mind carrying on doing things while I feel OK, I thought by June I would be laid out on the sofa all day, but reality has been much easier! - and to be fair me & DP run 2 companies between us, and he's having to do more at work now I'm not doing a lot there, so I am doing what I can still comfortably do.

To update, I've since said to him he needs to be more considerate of everyone, as that will be key to survival when we're both more sleep deprived. My Mum has also sorted out better black out curtains for everyone bless her :)
I also emphasised that I hadn't told the children off, only mentioned it to him, but next time I will be telling them all at the time as it's really not fair otherwise!

Your mum sounds lovely... SO good to have someone with your back. As it were. You weren't being unreasonable. But good to lay the ground work now for what you can expect after the birth. Good luck.

Don't worry about me! They are all grown up now and it is all behind me.

I am not a big person and had a huge bump that only ever went outwards (also had polyhydramnios which probably did not help). At 33 weeks I went to the dentist, then I was going to go shopping but I ended up going straight back home again because I could not walk far enough! I sat down in the middle of the room with DS once and could not find a way to get up! Also, near the end, I had a near miss where I very nearly slipped in the shower - DH is not very big either so we would probably have needed the fire brigade to get me out of the bath! I used the shower mat after that.

Be prepared for everything is all I can say! (and that includes groundwork for behaviour!) We had 2 weeks of SCBU to deal with, but I was really well after the birth (Dancing round and bending in the middle ).

Bless you Cherylene - I know it will all be worth it, if monster hard work!! I will remember to be extra careful in the shower!
I'm booked for a C-section 2 weeks today, had our last scan (all being well) today & they're weighing 4lb12 & 5lb7, so pretty respectable so far

I am quite looking forward to bending to pick things up & to seeing my waist again one day!!!

Good luck with the CS - I had mine at 35 wks 4lb12 and 6lb 3! They had a bit of trouble with their sucking reflex (apparently it is the last one to form) but were otherwise well.

Definitely use a shower mat