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Step-parenting

Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Original poster

WWYD Lent related

35 replies

PaleBlueDottie · 11/02/2016 17:33

We have dsc normally one week on one week off. So, Sunday to Sunday alternate weeks.

However dsc mum is going on holiday abroad on Saturday so we are having them for two weeks from Saturday.

This works out great as Dp and I are taking them to Scotland for 5 days during half term. It's a 4 hour drive

Dsc mum has just informed that dsc have given up ipads for lent. She said it was their decision. Doubtful as they are 4, 6 and 8. I also have a 5 ye old dd who lives here ft.

Anyway, for the 4 hour journey we would normally allow them the ipads in the car and as we are away would probably benefit from taking ipads with us for the lull in activity whilst away.

WWYD about the lent situation? Dp and I don't do lent an dd certainly won't

Would we be wrong not to honour dsc mums wishes and allow ipads if they wish?

Residency is split 50/50. The dsc have all necessary belongings at both homes and love of two families.

Dp and I are stuck on what to do

OP posts:

WhoGivesAFlying · 11/02/2016 19:11

pale you don't need to justify it, so what if you did go out and buy them at the same time. It's no one's business. Have a great stress free trip :)

semideponent · 11/02/2016 19:12

Embrace it. Might be fun.

PrettyBrightFireflies · 11/02/2016 19:30

It's one thing for DCs never to have had iPads and not be harmed by it - another entirely to expect DCs who are familiar (and dare I say reliant) on that technology to have no access to it during an unfamiliar experience that will be of little enjoyment for them.

The mothers decision is odd - and the OP and her DP will be set up yo fail if they are required to comply.

WhoGivesAFlying · 11/02/2016 19:32

and the OP and her DP will be set up yo fail if they are required to comply.

I think this was the point TBH

cannotlogin · 11/02/2016 22:50

To be difficult....I am not religious and nor is the ex. I work in a Catholic school. Religious words - Mass, church, liturgy, priest, prayer, worship - are all an everyday part of my vocabulary if asked 'what did you do today?' Consequently my youngest child is obsessed with religion at 6 and I have had to find him a children's bible and answer questions I never have with my other children. He has some understanding of the meaning of Lent....it is possible (although I agree I am clutching at straws) that the children have made their own decisions. Perhaps discuss with them before dismissing outright?

I don't like my son latching on to faith in the way he has but I do believe very strongly it is very much up to him. You have no idea what the future holds. Be careful you don't do something that could be held against you later down the line. Lent may become an important part of what one or more of your step children 'do'.

Wdigin2this · 12/02/2016 09:49

One thing for sure...you can't uninvent the wheel! So to those who consider IPads, iPods, games consoles etc as inappropriate for long journeys, these things are in our children's lives like Snakes & Ladders, Ludo etc were in ours! Live with it, it's the here and now.....whether we like it or not!

enderwoman · 12/02/2016 18:10

I have 2 teenagers who have to listen to music on their iPhone for any walk over 5 minutes and their friends are the same.
I've seen plenty of kids using Gameboy type handhelds for even. 10 minute car ride (in the 90s onwards)

newname99 · 13/02/2016 09:00

Maybe the mum was also using lent to try and reduce iPad usage? I also think the eldest could have this as their own thought as my similar aged child has also given up/restricted tablet for Lent.Schools teach religion at appropriate levels so it could be something they are supportive of.

Who told you about the restriction? If it was the children then I would ask them how they feel about it.They may want to try to restrict screen time so if its the case I would support them.They may also have mixed emotions, as often they will have made a lenten promise 'to try' but if course they will also welcome the get out:)

My son handles the balance well (he reduces his time and allows once a week which he is in control of).My non religious husband supports him as he sees it as a positive., as too much screen time seems to cause behaviour issues .

Films are also a good idea and maybe that's the compromise.

allnewredfairy · 21/02/2016 09:45

I can't see that trying to go along with this should be a problem. Or do you see it as the EX trying to exercise some control over you? As SEMI says, it might be fun!

Wdigin2this · 21/02/2016 13:09

Apart from anything else, I don't understand why the EW thinks it's OK to impose any kind of restrictions, during the time the DC are with their father!

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