this is ao silly but it annoys me...

[Neverenuff]

This is so silly and I know I need to grow up but I can t help that it annoys me. I was sitting next to my do for ages tonight then I got up for like 20 seconds to let the dog out and and dps son jumps to my seat cuddles in to his dad with no intention of moving. I'm annoyed because dp thinks this was cute. I find it rude. I feel dp should have said you'll need to move once 'never' comes back.

I know it's silly. Its what kids do. There was just no need and it just makes me feel a bit pushed out I suppose. Oh well shower and early night for me. I can't be bothered trying to explain to dp for the hundredth time that I feel his son is rude towards me and makes me feel unwelcome.

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Chappy, there are factors that you know about upfront, before you're even in the relationship (such as whether or not the other person has children) - which you can make decisions for yourself about, before you get embroiled.

And then there are the things that life throws at you, once you're in the relationship - in love, and on the same wave length.

Why would you ignore the red flags and sign yourself up for something you were pretty certain wasn't going to make you happy/fulfilled?

[TheDowagerCuntess]

Sorry! cappy.

[Thegreenhen1]

You are right - it's rude and bad manners.

If he boy wants to sit next to his dad, he can ask before you sit down and/or choose to sit the other side.

If you had a visitor to your house who got up to go the loo and your 9 year old kid jumped in their seat, you'd expect their parent to tell them to move.

Step mothers aren't lesser beings than the rest of human kind.

This is a subtle way of dp and dss undermining you in your own home and perfectly normal for dss to test the waters in this way. Your dp is wrong to encourage dss to be disrespectful under the guise of being "cheeky".

[cappy123]

Red flags is one thing, I get that. Some years before meeting DH I broke off an engagement with an ex who was a dad because of toxic ex (x2) relationships. I guess my point is that even in intact families, there are things you have to learn to deal with that you're not always expecting such as caring duties, health conditions, children taking against a parent, favouritism etc.

My friends' daughter, for example, had a severe bedtime fit aged 5. After an overnight stay in hospital she was fine. For 2 whole years afterwards my friend's DH insisted that their daughter sleep in their bed, much to my friend's annoyance. I can't imagine anyone telling her she should have known what she was getting into, having decided to have kids. And I bet if my friend was a SM her annoyance would attract a higher tariff of judgement by some. And it works positively too: in both first and step families there are unexpected pleasant things that can arise that can equally challenge our mindsets.

Each to their own, and wisdom should prevail, I'm just saying it's not always cut and dried.