fussy eater

[K8eee]

dss is nearly 9 but is one he'll of a fussy eater. made Fajitas last night for dinner (which he agreed to), pepper and onions were diced but he decided to pick out each bit of vegetable. I made a tikka masala the night he got here, knowing he liked it, he didn't want it because he didn't like it. dd will eat pretty much anything, but dh thinks I'm being unfair that I have the attitude of, you either eat it or go hungry. dh keeps wanting to please him.by giving him something else that he wants, I ended up saying to dh would he do that for dd but he didn't respond. just wondered if anyone else had any fussy dsc. I'm pulling my hair out as we have a week left of him staying with us but I'm running out of dinner ideas

The sun not moon

It's really frustrating when you purposefully make something that has previously been eaten and enjoyed, and then it is randomly rejected.

DSS went through a very fussy phase, he seems to be coming out of it now. I got through it by just sticking to his absolute favourite dishes, which is easy when he's only here for 3 or 4 days every other week, but not so easy when it's longer than that - I sympathise with wondering how you're going to get through the week!

Another thing that worked was not serving up a whole plate, but putting the pots/pans on the table and everyone serving themselves with what they wanted (within reason, e.g. he couldn't have all plain pasta and no sauce, but he could choose the quanities of each, or he couldn't have just roast chicken with no veg, but he could just choose one veg and not have to eat all of them).

My final sneaky tactic, if I'm making something I'm really not sure if DSS will like or not, is to tell him as I'm making it that I don't know if he will like it, maybe it will be too spicy/exotic for him...for some reason there is then more chance he will actually eat it! Though I have to say this can backfire and doesn't work every time ;-)

We would never offer an alternative dish, it wouldn't even be a possibility to be honest. Here (France) kids are expected to eat what the adults are eating, though not necessarily to clear their plate for the sake of it. The good thing is the stakes are less high, as there are generally pre-meal nibbles (eg saucisson, cornichons, crudités, nuts), bread always served with the meal, and cheese always on offer afterwards. So if not too much of the meal itself is eaten, at least they'll have eaten SOMETHING, not too much need to feel guilty about them going to bed starving. You just have to be careful that they don't gorge themselves on the pre-meal nibbles and end up actually not hungry for the meal itself. But re: the bread/cheese/healthy nibbly bits maybe you can adopt some of the French way of doing things?!

Always you need to read what the op has actually typed instead of jumping to conclusions.

Her dss will eat the items he just randomly refuses.

He normally stays with us for at least a week at at time as he doesn't live local to us. it's a 2 week stint this time, so a week in and I'm sick of the sight of pasta. we've already had pizza once, tomorrow we're making them so hopefully that'll keep him quiet as he's looking forward to doing it. I've bought some rump lamb chops and was going to do roast potatoes, Yorkshires and put some Brocolli on his plate as he's said he will eat that vegetable but no others. it's beyond me that a child can be so fussy, and I get that it could be anxiety but when I know his mum doesn't let him get away with it, but he can with his dad it infuriates me for lunch he ate 4 slices of toast his diet is terrible but I feel it's not my place to say to him. it's quite clear he's not thriving due to a poor diet, but his mum just can't see it. I understand it's not down to me to change his eating habits, but I was always brought up that you can't say you don't like it unless you haven't tried it

"blended" means nothing, the father is responsible for his own child, end of. it is fair enough for the OP to offer the step child food, but if it is turned down, what happens next is not the OPs business or concern, it is up to the father,

How incredibly insulting! Are you saying that blended families aren't proper families? Should I just ignore my step-child because he is not my blood?

If a child in a family doesn't eat then it is a family issue. You can't have one child being treated one way and another being treated differently just because they have different mothers. Of course it is the OP's concern - what happens affects her own child.

It's a control issue in a lot of cases I think and this is exacerbated in a blended family .I was that step child , I didn't dislike my sm or anything or her cooking but I can see now as an adult that the only thing I could control was eating , I couldn't control when I was at each parents house , or when I slept ( different bedtimes at each house ) but I could control what I ate , so I did .Must have driven them mad but as I got older I seemed to grow out of it .

Well said Ms!

I have stopped cooking with my dd in mind. I cook for me & my wife. I give my dd a bit of everything on a plate - she'll usually eat something. If she's still hungry after we've finished eating, she can have a snack. Something proper like cereal, yoghurt orKrisp roll & Philadelphia.my plan is to not make a big deal of it. We'll see in a few years if it worked! She only started eating Philadelphia again a fortnight ago, having stopped eating it suddenly a year ago, so that's encouraging

DSD can be a fussy eater at times.
We have the 'eat your tea, there's nothing else' rule IF it's something she's had before. If it's not, then if she tries it that's fine by me.
We've also got her helping with the cooking, she really enjoys it and eats her meals 100x better when she does. She's a dab hand at pushing stuff off the chilling board and into the pan
I put veg on her plate that she doesn't have very offer at the mums, ie carrot, I'll put two circles on her plate, if she eats them that's good, if not it's not a massive waste.

We let ours leave/eat it if they want rule with no alternative meal options. They eat really well and like a huge variety of stuff.

Totally agree Ms.

I honestly wouldn't worry OP.

I regularly cater for lots of fussy kids and TBH I am a rubbish cook which doesn't help.

I serve up food which is either eaten in full, partially or not at all. Any leftovers are binned without comment.

I operate an open fridge policy- I believe that members of the family - even children - and guests can help themselves to food if they are hungry but to be honest I don't keep junk food or yogurts in the house.

At supper time, I will probably offer cereal or toast. No one starves.

I really wouldn't worry - you are just creating stress for yourself. If you really think he might be hungry and won't touch the food, serve up some garlic bread with the spaghetti.