Spending/money - non resident v resident children

[SpottyDottyOne]

Just wondering how others manage spending issues with resident and non resident children.

DSD is eow and one weeknight, so we pay her mum £360 pm via CSA. Far more than we spend on DS, but another issue.. Anyway, whilst she is here we'll have often bought DS new clothes/toys etc or we often pick up stuff when we're out and about. She always remarks pointedly whenever he has something new, and is v stroppy whenever she asks for spending money for days out with friends etc and we have to refuse - pointing out that she should be asking her mum for pocket money.

Just wondering how others manage apparent spending inequalities when you have a non resident child. It looks as though DS 'gets' a lot more, but DSDs share gets paid directly to her mum, so even though we do get her bits and pieces whilst she's here, her main stuff has to be provided by her mum. She doesn't seem to understand that all her expensive activities etc are actually contributed to by Dad's money too.

I havent offered or expressed sympathy so there is none to misplace. I am simply countering you comments. The system is set so that the child/ren has a percentage of the NRP's income that reflects what they would benefit from had they been living with that parent. It isnt set according to what the RP can or cant provide themselves or what their outgoings are.

Fwiw- i think the entire child support system needs a complete overhaul which would require a greater shift in societal attitude than we are currently ready to embrace. It isnt a balanced or fair system nor is it enforced adequately. However it is what we have for now until/unless the Govt decides to step up and do the right thing so that means some DCs getting more than they need. The alternative is to reduce the percentages meaning many get less than they need.

I perhaps see this differently but we treat all children in our home equally and in my case my husband provides everything for both of our children even though only one of them is biologically his. Her dad doesn't provide for her needs and I am a sahm mum by choice to our 15mo. So whatever, i disagree with your statement. In fact my 15 mo old doesnt have a room and has to stay in with us till we move as our elder dd needs her own room and we live in a two bed (which is on market but not selling)
Things that happen outside our home are just that, I don't understand how anyone can have children and live with a partner who doesn't treat all children in home equally and by equally I don't mean the same. The needs of our 15 mo toddler are very different to the needs of our 15 yo teen.
However I don't see how a 15 mo costs anywhere near the same as a 15 yo. Nor the necessity to buy lots of things whilst an older half sibling is around. If you really do need to then perhaps older sibling could have a magazine or be active in helping to choose what's needed or you could make sure that onaanother occasion something is bought for her and not your youngest child. We're very careful when buying stuff for our toddler that our teen doesn't feel left out, as they do go through stuff more quickly but I do make sure that my odd realizes that we shopped at baby sales when she was little and I buy both girls a new book a month. My odd has regular pocket money and money for clubs and trips out. My 15 mo old has swimming lessons but apart from that we utilize free or low cost activities parks, playgroups, rhyme time at library etc. If you're struggling for money that's a really easy way to cut costs.