DSD's endless effing talk about her mum.

[runawaysimba]

I am venting. I don't take it personally, it's not malicious or anything other than the (constant) chat if a 10yo girl.

But. She's been here for a week of school hols and just talks endlessly about her mum. Mum loves this song, mum thinks this, mum says that, mum cooks this that way, blah blah blah blah blah.

Anyone else get this? I don't think she should stop but god I hate it. No idea how to respond, and I just don't want a running commentary about DP's ex in my house.

End rant.

Then perhaps you should have thought about that before you set up home with a man with children.

Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha,ha...............ha,ha,ha,ha (wiping tear from eye)

Buzzzzzzzzzz! It's step mother buzz phrase bingo!!

FFS yet another unnecessary pasting.

OP clearly said she doesn't think it should stop. It would irritate most people if someone in their house was constantly talking about their partner's ex. She clearly said she was just getting it off her chest and having a rant.

DSD does it too sometimes, goes on about how fantastic her mother is. She's not but that's besides the point. She did it once after she was really upset about something that was going on at school. She tried to ring her mum who was too busy to talk to her, and then never rang her back, even after two more attempts. I had a big long chat with DSD about what was upsetting her and she said it made her feel loads better.

Then burst into tears because 'my mum is just so amazing, she does so much for me, she's such a good mum'. I did an internal eye roll but I know she was just saying it out of insecurity that her mum had not had time for her.

When it's general day to day I also just do the 'mmmm, that's nice' thing too. IMO it's partly a test to see if we will challenge it/speak badly about mum/get irritated, partly about finding their way, and a lot do with insecurity.

Boomerang, exactly what I was thinking !

OP feel free to rant here, we all need to now and then, better here than in RL, and, as you said you don't mind but I do understand it's irritating

Thanks all! I was quite proud of ticking off a step mum bingo square
Interesting what some posters have said about DSD maybe "bigging up" her mum. I hope for her sake it's not because she's feeling insecure with her mum, but if it is and talking about it helps then obviously I want to support her.
Funnily enough I think the fact that we did think everything through so carefully means our problems can end up seeming petty. We talked endlessly about finances, parenting decisions, how to keep things equitable between DSD and DD... Life insurance, wills, you name it.
But I didn't think, how will I feel if, in eight years' time, DSD tells me for the seventh night in a row how her mother would have prepared the dinner I just served?
Just talked to DP about it and he was feeling pretty over it, too. Luckily neither of us realised the other was bothered so we obviously his it well!

*hid it, obviously!

Imagine if your dsd talks about you endlessly to her mum... Just saying

My dsd definitely has a 'favourite' of the week sometimes it's me sometimes it's her mums OH who she currently hates.. It must get bloody annoying!

She was loving riding my horse last year and I emailed her videos of her to her laptop bet he mum loved watching me give her lessons..!!

Oh I remember it well.

When I have music on 'This is my mum's favourite song'. 'My mum listens to this song'. 'My mum has this album'
When we do anything 'This is my mums's favourite whatever. My mum doesn't like doing this. My mum would have gone that way. My mum wouldn't make me do that. My mum would carry me not make me walk.

My mum, my mum my mum la di fucking da.

Luckily she is now 17 and hasn't spoken about her mum since - ooh - they had a mahoosive row when she was about 12.

It's infuriating. Like anyone wants to constantly hear about their partner's ex and how amazing they are. But yes, they do it out of some kind of misplaced loyalty I think

enderwoman I worry about that all the time! You do wonder what gets reported back - I just hope her mum takes everything with a grain of salt, as we do.
And I often find myself feeling a bit sorry for her Mum, too, that an awful lot gets reported back to us. But hey-ho, life across two households.

differentname I think maybe you sound quite young, you've never felt like you could happily throttle your child at some point or another when they're winding you up? Only if you're a fibber....... Of course it doesn't mean you don't love them any more then an occasional step kid grumble means that here. That's a little immature and honestly doesn't add anything to an honest conversation.

I actually don't agree it's because they miss mum. Usually you can tell that one, in my SD case she will go a bit quiet (and actually has only had this once, and a few times about the dog, don't laugh). They don't chatter happily if they are missing them. I find this chatter is genuine conversation making, and I agree a little insecurity trying to find a common ground with you. Believe it or not trying to reach out to you to build friendships up. And I massively agree you find out ALL SORTS! My OH after many years will now ask me to find out what's going on if he has any concerns about her other home, because I smile and nod and join in, and so she will merrily tell me ALL SORTS. She merrily told me about mummy having a new boyfriend who was sleeping over (explained her aggressive behaviour at the time coupled with clinginess, whilst mum denied any reason she could feel unsettled at home), all sorts of helpful things come out. I genuinely think she tells me things she tells no other soul in the world and in spite of her telling me the other day 'I'm sorry to say I don't think mum will ever like you, I am sorry to say that to you' I give the hateful woman nothing but positive press 'oh that's interesting, mum's so clever, lovely mummy, oh you have mum's slim figure you lucky thing she's so pretty'. I don't give a billy b*llocks and neither should you they're nothing to us, though they are a whole lot to our kids.

Oh and any new bloke can walk on water too, so I DO feel for her dad, imagine that one and he is kind of 'in your place'. At least that's a feeling I will never have to feel. I used to empathise with mum too, then I got tired of comforting the nightmares she gives her own child and stopped.

Like you say sometimes it's a real sh*t eating contest but you'll gain your own topics and if she knows you will listen and not judge no matter how hard it is sometimes, she will trust you. A lucky thing in a way I don't have any parental responsibility and neither do you, so in a way we can give a different kind of ear than a parent can. Frankly my kid needs it given mum's penchant to scream rather then talk! But hey lovely mummy ooo sounds amazing blah repeat to fade!

robot you could be me! We've heard about both her mum's subsequent two kids with "mum says I can't tell you about the baby." Very useful intel sometimes.