Calling DSD's bluff. Finally.

[BuzzLightbulb]

DP has finally snapped with DSD, age 16.

She has an exam tomorrow and has done no revision for at least the last four days, last night she agreed to be in at 10 because she was at a party the night before and promised to get up early today to study.

11 o clock came and went, then 12. She knew she was in trouble so let herself into her dad's house for the night. He won't say boo to her so its a safe refuge.

DP told her she can stay there, packed up her make up 'trunk' and her school books and took them round this morning and to get her house keys back.

DSD has been a real handful recently, I'm sure her sense of entitlement and the world owing her a favour is not uncommon, but her attitude towards her siblings and people in general is horrible. She just doesnt seem to have a nice word in her, and is just not a pleasant person to be around.

As usual she's going to think Dad will bail his little princess out of trouble. It'll be interesting to see if his attitude towards her changes when DP fills him in on the few months she's been staying with us full time and why DP's had enough.

DP's not happy about having to do this, she's not a hard kind of person, but she is relieved that she's not going to have to deal with the constant battles with DSD now. There will no doubt be tears when DSD realises that this is for real and she can't wriggle her way out of it this time.

Has anyone else had to do this? Did it make a difference in the long run? Did the relationship ever heal?

I've been trying to referee things, hard when DSD point blank refuses to accept anyone can have a different view from hers. I feel slightly guilty about the sense of peace there is in the house now. We had a lovely weekend with DSS, it was his birthday and he was so pleased with his presents and his party, and so grateful. Hard to believe he is related to his big sister.

Sorry Buzz, I was replying to drank as in does it matter if your DSF or DSM before replying poor kid.

Uuuf, you have all my sympathy, Buzz. Several of my friends have been in this position and it doesn't matter if you are a step-parent or the parent, stropping teenagers are hell.

It is a stage they go through though, usually. As someone said about a bit like the terrible twos.

I think you've done the right thing. How else will she learn that her behavior will not be tolerated? It doesn't sound like you were nasty about it.

I don't see that you being step parent is an issue. She's 16, she knows how to behave and what's expected of her.

The odd thing is my own daughter wasn't like this. Hideous in the morning, just like me.

Horribly hormonal at times, her not me!

But never that unreasonable.

Which makes DSD that much more difficult to understand.

No advice, just want to say that you sound very reasonable, both here and in your other posts, Buzz.
A bit shit that her dad is so disinterested in co-parenting that he wants to send her back, for his convenience.
I guess knowing that, you might have to come up with a different approach...maybe she stays at yours, but minus the make-up trunk an da few privileges....?
(Also familiar with the stroppy teens, but with nowhere to send them!)

Thanks for the support peeps!

Probably time to end this thread, need to move on to the next phase over dinner!

The thought of her coming straight back fills me with anxiety, but it's not my choice so whatever the decision we'll just have to make the best of it.

Fingers x'd.