Moral support for meal times please

[missduff]

Im a bit nervous about this evening.
The step kids will be here in a minute and I'm giving them lasagne for tea, their Dad thinks they won't like it but said to do it anyway.
They are 4 and 6 (nearly 5 and 7) and I can only assume they are fed a diet of chicken nuggets and chips at home, they even requested pot noodles the other day. I'm not a snob but I refuse to feed them crap, I'm not going to give them food that I wouldn't feed my own child.
Plus I can't stand fussy eaters and I really think children learn they're eating habits for life, if they learn to eat nice food now they'll carry it on through life (hopefully).

Please can someone tell me how best to play it? I've got a pudding do shall i do the whole ''if u don't eat your tea there's no pudding''? Shall I refuse to make them anything else if they don't want it?
I don't want them going home telling their mum I'm cruel and force feed them but on the other hand I want this fussy eating nipping in the bud (at least when they're at mine anyway).

sociallife yes I do have a child of my own and he is an excellent eater, that gives me more reason to want them to eat the same as me, DP and my DS, I don't want my DS wanting chicken nuggets and chips.
And I don't really see why my attitude is appalling? Because I think food and nutrition is important? So shoot me! And it's hardly as though I was giving them a pile of roasted veg, polenta and tofu! It was lasagne and garlic bread, something which I considered as pretty 'safe' and I was right, they loved it!

Don't let one random comment spoil your success, Missduff. You did sound a bit stressed out and uptight (totally understandably) but I think it is clear that you definitely have the best interests of your DSC's at heart and this is generally a very supportive place.

Sounds like it went very well. :)

My DSS eats loads of things now that when I met him he "didn't like" or "wouldn't eat" according to DH. I think DH got sort of stuck in his thnking about it - that as DSS got older he was naturally ready to be more adventurous about food, but DH wasn't presenting the opportunities.

I didn't approach it as trying to change his eating habits. For me, it wasn't about that, it was about respect for my time and my efforts....I wasn't going to make separate meals, or separate versions of a meal. When we were not living together, it was one thing, because it was only the occasional meal. But then we moved in together, and I just got sick to death of hearing "oh, we can't have that! DSS won't like it" - I wanted to be able to cook to my own tastes once in a while, or to DH's.

In our house, everyone occasionally has to put up witha meal that might not be their particular favourite - or fix themselves toast. We do (my DSCs are older than your DP's kids) have a rota and the kids have turns cooking, and do have a say in what they cook. The days of multiple meals (or worse - multiple takeaways!) are over, though!

Your lasagne must be fab
Glad it went well for you and the kids.

That's good news :) personally I have a bank of meals that Dss will actually eat and try to add new things here and there so that we're not having the same things over and over again. It can be frustrating, but manageable once a week I'm sure :)

No your attitude isn't appalling because you care about food and nutrition - don't be ridiculous. I just think you sound unbearably smug tbh and the -i can only assume' comments etc do nothing to help that. I have one fussyish eater (eats loads of veg and fruit etc, not so keen on meat) and one brilliant eater. I have don't nothing differently. I'm glad it went well, I just don't think going into it with an attitude of 'my way is better' was the best way to go.

I'm glad the meal went down so well. IMO I think children can be very accepting of different rules and routines in different places, they just accept that that's the way the things are done in each place.

I remember cooking a tuna pasta bake for my neice and nephew. SIL said, "oooh, they won't eat tuna - I never cook it for them." Of course, they cleared their plates and asked for seconds.

I think there is a middle ground - you need to cook food you feel comfortable with, but take into account their likes and dislikes. Sounds like it went well, though.

BTW, they sound like they are old enough to help you cook the odd meal. It's always easier to convince children to eat a meal that they have prepared, so that might be another way of introducing new foods.

I won't tolerate faddy eating, which I define as liking something one minute and the next week it's "I don't like that anymore". We have 5 DC and I accept that there are certain things that some of the children just don't like and never have.

We try to cook food that most people at the table will like and if it's something innoculous then it will be a case of eat it or go hungry as we won't be making extra food. That said, we do tend to do different dishes, eg we might do mexican and people can fill their own wraps from a range of fillings. Or we might do baked potatoes with the option of 2 different toppings. It gets people to try things they wouldn't normally, without the pressure of eating a whole bowlful, and it also gives the element of choice and reduces conflict.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the odd "easy" meal either though - after a long hard day it's fine to just make fish fingers, chips and beans sometimes which you know is quick and will be eaten with no drama. As long as it's not all the time it won't do any harm