Reference for anyone who remembers..... "what would you do with this lady?" posting. It was about DSD's graduation, two tickets, one for her mum and one for her dad (now my DH). Her mum refused to go if dad went so, it was then DH and I. That was February. All summer this woman refused to go as she was afraid she would be "too upset/break down emotionally/couldn't face her ex husband/sit within 50 yards of him" . They were divorced 7 yrs ago and I came along after their relationship was well and truly over. She, the exW, had an affair and didn't want to sort things out hence, the divorce.
Two weeks before the event, ExW changed her mind and wanted to go. No problem there, obviously. So, lovely DSD says "I'll have to get another ticket, if poss then". But her mum then said oh, don't bother. This was the first clue that meeting up with the man she shat upon all those years ago ( and this is a good man...a great dad) was not really the issue. This woman possibly couldn't face seeing her ex husband with another wife (we've been married 2 yrs). Long story short.... I said I'd not go, she must have a ticket, she being the mum. Dh said "she's f**d about for over 6 months, has been asked repeatedly so, no.....if a spare ticket isn't found, it's her own fault". However, my DSD wanted her mum there and so, I said she must use one of the 2 tickets for her mum. I know it was the right thing to do...the kind thing to do.
Still with me?
Now, the day went well. DSD graduated, looked (and is) lovely. DH was rightly, beaming with pride in all the photos. However, what I wasn't prepared for when I saw the photos, was the poor fragile ExW who was going to need all her emotional strength to be at the same event as her ex husband, albeit at a suitable distance because obviously, she wouldn't have the emotional wherewithal to be anywhere near him physically. This lady appeared to have made a FULL recovery from her turmoil; she was able to sit next to DH for the duration of the event, some 3 hours; she was very comfortable on the photos of the three of them..... No apparent emotional breakdown.
Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't want the occasion marred by this woman's falling apart but I felt so cross to see just how "together" she was. I suspect I had been manipulated quite calculatedly; I suspect it wasn't ever about her not going if her ex husband attended but rather her not going if she was to be faced with the physical evidence that her ex husband, whom she treated appallingly, had gone on to meet another (me) and was now very very happily married.
DH who, if you remember said the exW had mucked everyone about and should therefore take the consequences (ie not be there if another ticket couldn't be found) has now made a decision. In future, when invited, the two of us will attend together and, in his own words "fuck her. She either comes to terms with it or doesn't attend" .
So, a cautionary tale here..... Don't be manipulated by ex wives, because even though I have the benefit of knowing I did a good and right thing, the woman pulled a fast one on me.