DSD is 16. DH takes her a glass of water and tucks her in every night. She goes to bed whenever she likes, no set bedtime (fine - she is 16!!!). So whenever she is ready for bed - as early sometimes as 9:30 and other times well past midnight or even later - she comes to DH and tells him (not asks, but tells) that she wants her glass of water "in five minutes". Whatever he's doing then, he stops, gets her water, and takes it to her. Sometimes they'll chat then for ten minutes, and sometimes for 30 minutes or even longer. This is every night.
This really gets on my nerves. I understand that it is a ritual they have always done. And I understand him wanting to say goodnight to his kids! BUt this seems OTT to me. Whatever he's doing, he just stops. If he's working, or having a little time to himself. Or if he and I are doing something...if we are watching a dvd, he'll stop it and off he goes and I sit there waiting for him to come back. Since it is on her demand, rather than at a set time, there is no way to plan around it. If he keeps her waiting more than the five minutes she wants, she'll start calling him and whining. (She has even rung him on his cell, from her room...)
On the exceedingly rare occasion that DH and I go out on an actual date, if we get back after she has 'gone to bed', she's always awake. As soon as we come in, she'll yell from her room and he goes obediently off to fetch the water. So maybe we have been out to a gig, and had a few drinks, and a good, romantic evening together...and then we come home and I am looking forward to maybe having a glass of wine, or going to bed...and instead I go off to bed by myself while he has a chat with her, and frankly, any 'mood' created by the date is long gone!
She is quite capable, too, of using this tactic deliberately to interrupt us, particularly if she is annoyed with me about something.
We also have two other kids - DSS is 13, and DD is 1. DSS just gets a glass of water when DH takes DD hers, whenever that is. I put DD to bed myself at around 7:30.
I don't want to sound heartless. But seriously? Is 16 too old for this? Or at least - for this kind of bossiness about it? I don't exsactly want him to stop the bedtime ritual altogther, because I can see that it is important to them both. But it feels weird to me, and I definitely resent the interruptions.
Any advice???