Am really just posting because I don't really know what to do, or how I feel about all of this - will try to keep it brief but don't want to drip feed either
DP and I been together 2 years, but known each other much longer. He has 2 dcs, so do I. Mine live with me, his with ex, although they have regular access arrangement sorted.
DP has his own place and doesn't live with me, although he spends most of his time here, and the four kids enjoy hanging out together so they spend a lot of time here at weekends, and for tea through the week quite regularly.
Anyway...last week dsd1 (13) said while here for tea that she wanted to come and live with her dad permanently. She has said this before, and actually came and stayed for a week last year, but then wanted to go back to mums.
Because of this, we said yes, fine, but have a think about whether you really want to do this, there are rules here that you don't have at home, be sure that you're not just in a mood with your mum tonight etc etc. She agreed to have a good think about it, and we said we'd discuss all the pros and cons when she was here for tea this week.
DP got hysterical phone call from her on Monday evening begging him to pick her up because she and her mum were fighting so badly - so he did. Apparently she and her mum were screaming and swearing at each other (this has happened before), and so DP felt that even if it was just for one night, they needed to be separated so they could both calm down.
He and dsd both stayed here that night, and dsd is adamant that she wants to stay full-time.
DP took her to her mums yesterday after school, because she said she needed to pick up some stuff, they were met by mum at the door who said "you've saved me a trip, was on my way round to your girlfriends with this"...dsd's stuff in 3 black binliners! "This isn't what I want, but since you refuse to tell her she has to stay with me, then you can take all her crap too"
I'm actually quite concerned because dsd seems quite unfazed by all this, and is carrying on as if everything is fine, whereas I'm quite stressed about it!
At the minute they're both staying with me because DP has rented out his spare room to someone down here working with him til July - he goes home every weekend so it hasn't been a problem for access times but isn't good just now. Plus, DP leaves for work at 6:45 and isn't home til 17:30ish, so I'm doing school run (my house isn't too far, but bit much to walk and not in catchment area, so no friends round here).
I don't mind doing any of this - I'm not moaning, but I'm not sure if we're doing the right thing......should we have told her no, as her mum and her family think?
Turns out not so brief...sorry 