U9 goalie situation

[Raisinsandweetabix]

My son has been in net for 3 years. Mid/ high level team.
Recently he disclosed to me that he was bored in net all the time and wanted to play outfield.
I approached the coaches and explained this situation and they were accommodating and said after the last few games leading upto the cup match , he could play in defense on alternate weeks with another defender stepping in goal.
last week was the cup game, my son was ill so had to miss it. So the other goalie stepped in last minute. Fine. No issues. We won the game on pens (6/6) so he obviously did a good job.
now at training last night, my son comes home and says the coaches asked him what he wanted to play on the cup final match this Sunday- he said in defence. Despite them saying they wanted him in net for the final a few weeks ago.
they didn't ask us parents first, they obviously had decided behind the scenes that they wanted the stand in goalie to play the final.
my son has put his heart and soul into being in net for 3 years. And suddenly, the glory of the cup final is being handed to the other kid?
I think they should have been transparent from the outset. Yes- my son has been lacking in enthusiasm for a few games but he still is a very good keeper.
i messaged the coach and explained how disappointed I was , and he basically said "we wanted to ask the lads what they wanted to do" and the icing on the cake- my son is now a sub on Sunday so they have obviously planned to give him very little game time!!!!
why does kids football have to be so divisive????? Just let them enjoy it

I completely agree kids football should be for fun. I don’t really see the coaches have done that much wrong on this one though? Your son said he wants to play outfield, they asked him and he didn’t ask to play in goal for the upcoming match. They’ve done what he asled for. Issue of game time is different as at that age he should ideally be given half of the match to play at least. Do you suspect this won’t happen? Some of the squad have to start at subs as long as they get brought on and given fair time I don’t think there’s much to complain about really.

It's the fact that they have clearly favored the stand in rather than giving my son the opportunity to be in net for the cup. Rather than approach me at training and say "would you be happy for us to offer him the option" it feels as if they pre- meditated the situation.

I think your son created this situation - sorry. You and your son told the coaches he doesn't want to be in goal anymore. They honoured that. How is that their fault? 🤷‍♀️

I also don’t see what you expected the coaches to do? Your son wanted to move positions, he pretty much has done so. He is getting less time on the field in the new position but it may be a more popular position and your son will have less experience in it.
Is this a reverse post from a coach? If so you have my sympathy for trying to manage parents is a thankless task.

Ah think this has rebounded on him slightly
He is young it is not the end of his sporting life though
Difficult one

I also do not see the problem.

he’s asked to move positions. They have moved him.

now you want him back (but he doesn’t want to go back?)

They haven’t though really have they? Your said was asked if he wanted to play in goal in the match and he said no? It would be a different story if he said he did want to play in goal and then the coach chose the other player anyway but that didn’t happen. As a parent I wouldn’t expect to be asked as well. Why, as a parent, would you want your son to play in goal if he doesn’t want to? As you said yourself just let him enjoy it.

You son said he didn't want to play in goal anymore.
He's now not playing in goal.
But doesn't make the cut for starting in defence.

Presumably he will still play, just later on in the game?

My son is 9. Stop blaming a little kid please. Yes he expressed a desire to play outfield but they ALSO asked him to play the remainder of the cup games IN NET. And have now back tracked.
mum just asking for honesty from
them! Also, a 9 year old who has been in net for 3 god damn years deserves to play in the cup final..., no matter which way you look at it.

My son is 9. Stop blaming a little kid please. Yes he expressed a desire to play outfield but they ALSO asked him to play the remainder of the cup games IN NET. And have now back tracked.
mum just asking for honesty from
them! Also, a 9 year old who has been in net for 3 god damn years deserves to play in the cup final..., no matter which way you look at it.

But your son doesn't want to play in goal.

What good is forcing him to play in a position he doesn't want and no longer enjoys??

This season he has consistently when asked stated that he didn’t want to play in his old position. Another player has moved into this position, why would the new player who wants the position be moved out of it so the old player who doesn’t want it can play in the big match?
The glory isn’t being handed to another kid as you stated, your kid simply doesn’t want to play in that position and the team has restructured itself.

Having coached kids sports for many years on a voluntary basis, I can tell you that pleasing all of the parents and all of the players all of the time is impossible.

Your son said he no longer wanted to play in goal.
You told the coaches your son no longer wanted to play in goal.
They agreed to accommodate your preferences.
He missed a match and another child played in goal and did a great job.
Coaches again asked your son where he wanted to play and he confirmed he did not want to play in goal. He wanted to play defence.
Coaches put him in defence, but on the bench for the final - presumably because other kids have been playing defence all season and would not want to give up their spot for a child who had never or rarely played in that position.

This all sounds MORE than reasonable to me.

This is under 9 football the aim of which is to get the kids to run around, enjoy the game and pick up a few core skills.

Try to see it in that light and do not project your feelings on to your son.

This is so odd - your son has been given what he wanted (& what you asked for) and you’re upset about it?
perhaps they realised they had another option “good enough” for goal so were able to let your son go in defence earlier than they thought

I read this as he wanted to play in defense rather than goal, they put him there but have others also playing that position so he'll get less game time/may not be the first choice in that position as he was when he was in goal? I dont think you can have it both ways - i suppose the only question is how does your son feel about it?

i don’t understand why you’re annoyed that your son rather than you were asked what position ds wanted to play. He’s 9 and his opinion matters and the coaches aren’t unreasonable to take him at his word.

If your son played the whole match then somebody would be benched. The only way for ds to play in defence is by not playing the whole match.

It’s an under 9s game and ds will play in the final. Whatever the result, congratulations to him and well done for practicing every week.

Sorry to say your response here is the exact reason I stopped coaching kids football. The kids are usually great but parents getting over involved and entitled is so horribly toxic and stressful to deal with.
your son is part of a whole team, the coaches seems to have been very accommodating in supporting him coming out of goal and even asked him where he wanted to play and took him up on his request what exactly is your problem?
and do you know what, if another kid stepped into goal to help the team out when your son wanted a change and then performed better then your son is going to lose the monopoly on playing in goal
please don’t ruin the enjoyment for your son and the coaches by having a blinkered view of this situation, you need to back off, why would the coaches come and ask you what position your son wanted to play anyhow? They have a good relationship with him by the sounds of it and are giving him the autonomy he asked for.
apologies for the long reply, your post had really ground my gears how self centred you are

YABU it is also highly likely that if he’s has been playing goal keeper for 3 years he’s is not at a high level fitness or playing level as the footballers. He will likely have to play for a lower level team moving positions.
I say this a a goal keeper mum.

Is your son actually bothered by this or is it just you worried he won’t get the glory? No one is ‘blaming’ your son just stating that based on the facts you have given your son has been listened to and the actions of the coaches aren’t unreasonable.

They haven’t favoured the stand in though. If they were favouring the stand in, they’d have approached your DS asking him “do you mind not playing in goal this time?”. But they didn’t. They asked him where HE wanted to play, and he said he wanted to play in defence. So he’s happy, which is ultimately what football at this age is about. You need to get your priorities back in the right order.

As an experiencd football mum I think you need to take a step back and listen to what your son wants. The way your posts read make it sound like it's all about what you think he should be doing, and what you want for him, with no consideration for what he wants.
He asked the coaches to play outfield, they've arranged for that to happen. He's lucky they listened as many coaches wouldn't, particularly as it can be hard to get another kid to step in as goal keeper, it's a tough postion to play. They haven't decided the other lad is better, they're just letting the boys try different positions. Also at that age not being on the pitch at the start of the match means nothing.
Get some perspective and remember what matters here. This is not about you basking in his glory, it's about him enjoying himself. If he wants to play outfield, let him get on with it.

He's less experienced in the outfield positions so may take a short while to cement a starting position. It's a shame this period overlaps a cup match but it's what your lad wanted so best to be as supportive as possible now, of him, the team and the coaches.

Welcome to football. Wait until a coach tells you where your kid will be playing, that they won’t be playing even minutes and will play a number of positions. This is what happens.

You seem to want to emphasise your kid plays at a high level - well then get used to the above.

You aren’t the coach and your stance is so entitled. A kid at nine shouldn’t have only one position - no coaching system at high level plays like that so the coach is right. I speak from experience as my kid plays category 1 football.

Your kid is playing grassroots football. It’s hardly football at that age considering most don’t even understand positional play and stick to it the whole game.

You are wrong. Let it go.

Have you said to your son that he might not be as skilled in defence as he is in goal and therefore might not make the cut?

My sons both played grassroots football from 5-18 years. There was always some drama. I always felt sorry for the coaches. This sounds like more drama. Your son has shot himself in the foot here. He will learn.