What helped your SEND child settle into a new school year? Share your advice – you could win a £200 voucher!

[geemumsnet]

Whether it’s a change of teacher, a new classroom, or even a whole school, September can be a nervous time for children with special educational needs and disabilities, and for parents too.

That’s why we’d love to hear from you if you can relate to any of these experiences, and what helped the most (or didn’t) for you and your child during the transition.

Was there a particular strategy, tool or routine that helped? Did a teacher or SENCO go above and beyond?

Your tips or shared experience could really help another parent going through this for the first time.

By sharing, you’ll be entered into a prize draw to win a £200 VEX voucher - so you can spend it on whatever helps your family start the school year off right!

Principal of Whinfell School (Autism School) Paddy Sandham and Suzanne Mulligan, headteacher at Beverley School (SEMH School), will also be available in a few weeks to give their advice on the thread!

Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s clear how much love and thought you’ve put into supporting your daughter as she starts Year 10. Transitions can be challenging, and you’re doing an incredible job helping her feel prepared.

While blending in may ease her worries at first, I’d also encourage you to reach out to her school’s SENCo and form tutor to share your concerns and her needs. They can put strategies in place, whether that’s extra check-ins, a quiet space if she feels overwhelmed, or ensuring staff are aware of how best to support her. She deserves to feel safe and accepted for who she is, and with the right support network, she can grow in confidence and thrive as herself.

We totally agree with this. When behaviour starts to become more challenging the young person is trying to communicate something. Usually there is something going on underneath which he/she is unhappy about. It is really important, as a parent to speak out and encourage your child to do the same.

There is usually a solution and schools should do all they can to adjust and support. If the young person has an EHCP then that is a good place to share information about needs and what works for the individual. As you have said, in this case it was the staff member who was able to be sitting with him, helping him and building his confidence.

Thank you for sharing this.

We totally understand that the start of the academic year can be anxious time for all students, and often staff too! As you have said, the more the routine and consistency is in place the better.

We often find that the first day of term can be a really good chance to build relationships again with the necessary people - tutor and peers. What we would really recommend is that parents of SEN students communicate as well as possible with key staff in school so that any worries can be addressed and adjustments offered.

We also find that once the first few days are over everything tends to be easier too.

Thank you great advice. We always offer taster days and transition plans so that young people can become familiar with any new setting and staff. This allows for anxieties around surroundings to be addressed. EHCPs and good communication also help us make any necessary adjustments too.

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories, tips and advice on this thread.

This is a hugely important topic for so many parents and it's great to see so much support here. Paddy and Suzanne, headteachers from Autism and SEMH Cambian schools, have also responded to some of your comments on the thread.

We wish you and your DCs the best of luck settling into this new school year!

Thank you,
Gee - MNHQ

@geemumsnet thanks for this thread, really good one and good ideas.
Can I please ask if you have contacted the winner of the voucher ? TY 😊

I know that I am really late to this thread, but I just wanted to make a comment.

dd was diagnosed late, at 15. She then went to six form college.
Year 2 of 6th form collage began last Monday and the one thing that has been the biggest stress for her was that their timetable was not released until Friday at 5 pm for a Monday start.

I cannot tell you how stressed she was that she did not know until Friday where she would be on Monday morning.
This was also exacerbated by the fact that her reachers might change on the new timetable.

I do understand why the timetable is so late, they can't do it until GCSE results come out, but for a ND kid knowing where they are going to be and which treachers she would have are pretty central.

We had tearful melt downs every night for 2 weeks.

Hi Stepmum
As I've mentioned to another poster above, that sounds so tough for both of you. The anxiety around “not knowing” is such a common trigger, especially with late diagnosis when there’s been less time to put supports in place.

Colleges and sixth forms still have duties under the Equality Act 2010 to make reasonable adjustments for ND students. That can include things like:

• Releasing timetables earlier (or at least giving a draft)
• Providing written reassurance on which teachers will remain the same
• Using social stories, maps or even photos of classrooms/staff for students who need predictability

There’s actually a barrister’s legal opinion confirming that being able to plan and prepare is itself a reasonable adjustment under the Act, and this has been noted by the Cabinet Office, DWP and Ofsted. Link to legal opinion: acrobat.adobe.com/id/urn:aaid:sc:EU:30876632-bb90-49ff-a9f2-6315604054ad

It might help to raise this formally with the college SEN team, even if they can’t change exam result timings, they can (and should) adapt the way they communicate with your DD so she isn’t left in limbo again next year.

Please also feel free to share the legal opinion link (non-commercially) with other parents or staff who might find it useful.
Chris 😎

Note. The image shown is of Louise Mankau (barrister) of Doughty Street Chambers. Photo credit Doughty Street Chambers (DSC). The image is not of the poster. The poster is not associated in any way with DSC other than being the person who commissioned the legal opinion linked to within this article.

Hi @JacCharlton the winner has been contacted but I'm still waiting to hear back from them, if I don't hear back in 7 days I will re-draw

Communication in a form that suits the child to step through what the first day will be like, stepping through the drop off, the site (which they'd have visited before), the timetable for the day with the teachers (who they'd have met previously)...and run through school bag, uniform, lunch, etc. all of which they'd be used to in the weeks before.

Assure them that nervousness and worry about the unknown is normal for them, alongside any other feelings they may have. Encourage them to share feelings and to, together, explore why and how to make it feel more comfortable.

Every child is different. Mine is an old soul and, with a lot of practice and reassurance, communicates well....but the first month of school is difficult/challenging, regardless.

Communication, follow-up with school is also important.

Are you using childrens' disabilities for an advert Mumsnet HQ?

Reinstating school-time schedules, including bedtimes.
Walking through needs/purchases including break/lunch options together.
Talking through what school this new year could look like, and changed, and what might remain the same.

@geemumsnet hello, will the winner now be announced on the winners thread please ? just for clarity on the thread

Literally nothing lol

Give them space after school to relax and decompress before asking questions

I had a fantastic school that I knew supported and encouraged my child. Every morning was still a battle. It was always, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, the result is the same. You can let me dress you and go…..you can fight me to the end but we still get dressed and go to school however long it takes. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions that are harder than the easy option (and make you cry) but in the long term will benefit you and your child so much more.

By his IDP being taken over by the LA and him actually getting a child centered education suitable for his needs. It was a battle lasting years and costing £10000. He is now thriving - it shouldn’t have been this hard.

@geemumsnet @PaddySandhamPrincipal
@SuzanneMulliganHeadteacher

Late to this, but I have had a stressful time regarding phase transfer and feel stuck.
I feel like I’m constantly having to email/fight the law with the LA - with the addition of hostility from the school when I question provision.
This has stemmed from the LA assuring me he would get parental preference mainstream for reception placement, only to do a ‘turn around’ at consultation - and then suggest a school that didn’t seem at all ‘willing’ to place DS but did finally place him.
In his first term I was reading reports from the school that stated DS has a ‘tiny, squeaky voice’ and ‘just sits not taking on instruction’ (he was reciting all his phonic lessons at this stage). The language appeared dismissive.
In year 1 - the LA ‘forgot’ to action his annual review and this led to a 6 month delay in issuing EHCP and the school incorrectly believing DS had been discharged from speech services.
The LA held the phase transfer review for Yr3 at the end of Year 1 - but I’m now arguing that this was held prematurely (as per reg 18/recent letter from DfE reminding LA’s not to hold phase transfer reviews too early) resulting in EHCP not being up to date view of DS for consultation for transfer to Yr3 school.
I’ve been asked to name a school parental preference before having the opportunity to view schools - and the phase transfer has come back to me naming his current placement in Section I. The LA tell me they plan to over write this after consultation - but this doesn’t seem lawful.
I don’t want to appeal as it takes so long/waste of public money - and I’m not sure that if I ‘meddle’ whether it backfires on DS.
Currently the LA and the school are hostile towards me, school SENCO doesn’t respond to emails. I’ve decided my best option is to keep quiet through fear of repercussions on DS. There have been 3 exclusions in DS’s class by end of Yr1 - and I have a constant fear that DS could be next.
In Section F of his EHCP, it states that he should be told to go to the toilet once a day. This isn’t happening so DS comes home daily having ‘held in’ all day. I can’t bring this up without hostility (I’ve been trying for the past two years).
Other provision (e.g supervision on school trips) isn’t followed - resulting in DS getting left behind in a toilet on a previous outing. I’ve now insisted that a family member must accompany on trips, but again - this has caused hostility. A teacher has previously stated that ‘we should be grateful that the school ever agreed to place DS’.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!!