geekaMaxima Thu 07-Apr-16 14:07:31
I'm still waiting for someone to explain why they think SPL is incompatible with breastfeeding. It really isn't.
BertieBotts Thu 07-Apr-16 16:05:57
Yes I don't think it's incompatible at all. Plenty of people go back to work at 6 months and breastfeed.
Well bully for you two!
Personally I struggled breastfeeding at all. DS didn't until he was four months old. The reality of expressing for four months is that you pretty much don't have time for ANYTHING else if you are looking after a baby. I mentally and physically could not have gone back to work at 3 months and still expressed even if DH had taken on the role of primary carer and looking after the house.
At four months, DS refused the expressed bottles and then started breastfeeding. Just like that. No reason or explanation. He refused bottles from that point on, and refused to eat solids until he was about 10 months old. This was not for lack of trying. So what would have happened if I had intended to go back to work at 6 months?
I suppose I could have starved him into submission, but I don't think that would have done my mental health any good. Besides which he was a low centile weight (which is consistent with DH and I and no cause for concern) but this was still meaning the HVs were constantly on my case about his weight and in turn this preyed upon my own anxieties of whether I was doing all the right things. (I genuinely don't think I could have done anything different with the benefit of hindsight).
Perhaps I am an exceptional case. Perhaps I'm not. I don't think its particularly relevant. What is, if purely the fact that me and DS NEEDED longer to get the food thing sorted.
Yet I have to come and justify and explain why SPL might be incompatible with breastfeeding, because lots of women in other countries manage it without problems? Really? What about the women in those countries who DO find it impossible? Don't they exist just because the stats say that more women on the whole breastfeed in other countries? Perhaps you would like a lesson in what stats say and what they don't say? They don't show the whole picture and they don't show the social side of what that might also be saying.
The simple truth is that it SPL at 6 months would not have been for us, and it would have caused no end of additional stress and worry if that had been our plan before DS had been born. Please do not deny that women will be in this situation. I am not arrogant enough to believe I am unique and I find it quite frankly insulting to be told that I have to challenge the attitude that its dead easy.
On top of that, do you know how much support there is for expressing in the UK? If you think support for breastfeeding is poor and not readily available you should try and find it for expressing...
You know its GREAT that SPL is being encouraging. It will be a massively positive thing for so many people and a step in the right direction. But it won't be right for everyone. And its wrong to suggest that it will be a breeze for anyone breastfeeding to return to work. We need to be honest about potential problems and issues so that women can make an informed decision about the difficulties and practical obstacles they might face if they did intend to.
Personally despite managing to exclusive express for as long as I did, I applaud any woman who manages it later on, as its a different ball game and I have not been able to produce any quantity of expressed milk after 6 months.
Having had so many problems myself I completely understand why so few women get to the 6 month point. I have total sympathy and really don't want to sound militant about it. You have to do what's best for you both mentally and physically under the circumstances.
But the fact remains that the health messages and evidence are at least six months and the advice is two years. The trouble is the mentality in the UK seems to be that breastfeeding ends at 6 months, despite that. Even the stats you see, tend to only look at up to 6 months. After that it seems to be at best invisible, at worst viewed as weird. I'm not talking about extended breastfeeding. I'm not even necessarily talking about breast feeding after 12 months. More stating that this 6 months weaning thing is also unhelpful and misleading too and many babies naturally won't 'get' food until later than that.
If we are encouraging women to go back to work sooner than they currently do, there should ALSO be a parallel more to support working mums and breastfeeding and a drive to make it an acceptable part of the workplace eg is there even somewhere available for them to do it. (Along with an all together healthier and more supportive attitude to breastfeeding across the board which is better than the shitty woman bashing 'breast is best' crap)
Employers will need to think about providing space to do this as well as changing attitudes to men taking leave. There needs to be government backed support and funding for women who want to go back to work and continue to breastfeeding / express. The assumption that formula instead or weaning at 'the correct point' is the solution is actually not good enough and is not consistent with other government policy.
As I say, more SPL is great, but I think there is a danger that breastfeeding will be driven into being more and more of a lifestyle choice or something that only women with partners who earn more than they do, can afford to do and something of a luxury particularly past the magic 6 month point if consideration to the practicalities / difficulties of breastfeeding are not given proper due thought.
Is that necessarily to the benefit of children, women, men or families as a whole? It should not just be about finances. Personally I think there does need to be a more balanced approached and there needs to be more depth to the policy.