NOW CLOSED Let's talk children and alcohol - how would you deal with these scenarios? Tell all and you could win a £250 Love2Shop voucher

[NewGirlHelenMumsnet]

We're working with the brewing company Anheuser-Busch InBev UK to gather your top tips and advice on talking to children about alcohol. AB InBev UK is launching a new initiative called Family Talk UK which aims to encourage open conversation between parents and children about alcohol and responsible drinking. This is not about encouraging under 18s to drink alcohol or marketing drinks.

We understand that some of you will have already had discussions with your child(ren) about drinking and some of you won't - it doesn't matter if you have RL experience of this or not, AB InBev UK want to hear what you did or what you would do if faced with the scenarios below.

If your child(ren) aren't yet at the age where they're aware of alcohol, we'd still like to hear what you think you would do in the scenarios below. This is open to all Mumsnetters with at least one child. Everyone who takes part by adding their advice to this thread will be entered into a prize draw to win a £250 voucher for Love2Shop. You don't have to respond to every scenario below, you can pick the ones that interest you the most if you want - just make sure you tell us which scenario you're responding to in your posts. If possible we'd like you to add your advice/thoughts/comments to the thread before you read anyone else's posts. Some of your tips and advice may feature on the Family Talk UK facebook page.

AB InBev UK is also looking for some Mumsnetters to get more involved with the Family Talk UK initiative. They will be creating some videos to show on the Family Talk UK facebook page. If you'd like to take part in the video or register your interest, please email
[email protected] - they will let you know all the details and there's no obligation by emailing.
Thanks
MNHQ

So here are the scenarios (remember you don't have to respond to each one) - please say how you think you'd deal with them and try not to look at other responses before posting :

Scenario A
You have two DSs who are 8 and 15. Last Saturday your older DS came home from a party and you suspected he was drunk. You argued that night but he has since apologised and promised to be more responsible in future. However, your younger DS woke up during the argument and has been asking questions about what happened, and whether his older brother had been drinking. You and DP don't know how you should broach the subject with him or what you should say.

Scenario B
You and DP were both away with work recently and left your 17 year old DD and 13 year old DS at home on their own. When you came back you noticed that a couple of beers were missing and the level on some of your spirits was lower than you remembered. Your DD is revising for her exams at the moment and you don't think she would have taken the alcohol. You want to talk to both of them about it but you're not sure how.

Scenario C
Your 13 year old DD has started going to house parties. Usually these are just girls only sleepovers. However, this weekend she wants to go to a friend's house where you know there are older siblings who will have their friends over too. You trust her not to drink but your instinct is still to say no. How do you broach it with her?

Scenario D
Neither you nor your DP drink. However, both your 9 year old DD and 12 year old DS have started asking questions about alcohol recently and have mentioned that other people they know have tried it. They haven't asked specifically if they can try a drink but do seem to want to know more about it. You're not sure what to do.

Scenario E
You held a party at your house last weekend. Several of your friends and their DCs came over. The party carried on late and all the adults were quite drunk. Your oldest DD, who is 11, has since asked if she can try some of your wine during dinner. You have said no, but you're not sure if this was the right thing to do.

[ThePosieParker]

Scenario A


I would say that the older DS has been irresponsible and chosen to do something against this houses rules, should he do it again he will be grounded. None is permitted to drink until they are 18, unless we're there.

Scenario B
Who wouldn't be sure about talking? Presumably you haven't just adopted these children? I would talk about stealing, drinking underage and responsibility of being an older child and having exams. It would go like this " Who took the alcohol, you have 5 minutes to tell the truth or all privileges are withdrawn until further notice.

Scenario C
Hello 13 yr old, christ knows when I had a lobotomy that allowed you to go to so many house parties but this time I'm saying no as they'll be older children there.

Scenario DI would find the most foul tasting alcohol and give them a sip or just say we don't drink, some people do, it isn't always harmful but can be dreadful.

Scenario E
Of course you'd let them try a sip. Then when they said it was foul, you'd do a mental dance for joy.

[curlycreations]

i like a drink on special occasions and have been known to get drunk, but i dont know why it seems so acceptable now to have wine with dinner in the house unless its like christmas. a lot of people seem to be drinking it on most days.

[jenniferturkington]

Scenario C
Your 13 year old DD has started going to house parties. Usually these are just girls only sleepovers. However, this weekend she wants to go to a friend's house where you know there are older siblings who will have their friends over too. You trust her not to drink but your instinct is still to say no. How do you broach it with her?


I would still let her go but be honest about my concerns. I would tell her that I trusted her not to drink and would hope this trust would be repaid. I would also check that a parent would be around at the sleepover.
Obviously if she came home with the hangover from hell then she wouldn't be going to the next sleepover!

[NewGirlHelenMumsnet]

Thanks to everyone who added their tips and advice - here's a message of thanks from AB InBev UK:

"We'd like to thank all the Mumsnetters who took part in this discussion - you've provided valuable insight into how to handle these scenarios.

AB InBev UK's new initiative called Family Talk UK will launch later this summer. We hope it will encourage open conversation between parents and children about alcohol and responsible drinking. The tips and advice you've given us here will help to shape the campaign, so thank you.

We're still looking for Mumsnetters to get more involved with the Family Talk UK initiative. In particular we're looking for volunteers to be part of the videos we're creating for Facebook that will offer other parents tips on how to talk to your DCs about responsible drinking. Please get in touch if you'd like to help by emailing [email protected]."

[ThePosieParker]

I think the general consensus is that parents do know how to approach alcohol if they're parents that talk to their children. It's not hard is it?

[NewGirlHelenMumsnet]

Thanks again to everyone who added their thoughts/advice/comments. We've done the prize draw and the £250 Love2Shop voucher goes to...

Jux

Congratulations and happy spending! I'll email you to get address details for sending the voucher.

[prettybird]

I'd been on holiday so have only just completed the survey - no chance of winning the vouchers :(

The comment I would make about the sruvey is that it asks about what age your kids first drank various types of alcohol and whether yuo bought it for them or if someone else did/you don't know. I had to answer "Under 10" not because we bought it for him but because we gave him a small glass of wine to taste (dh is in the wine business). As it happens (as we expected) he only ever took at most a couple of sips (and occasionally came up with some good descriptions) and now is not even interested in doing that as he doesn't particularly like it.

It was part of our approach of demystifying it. We did the same with beer - which he only ever tried once, dsiliked (as we expected) and has never asked for a taste again.

[NewGirlHelenMumsnet]

prettybird - the survey is different to this - it was sent to our research panel and is still open so you're still in with a chance but for that prize, not this one!