DD refusing to give consent for autism referral

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I suspect that DD 14, in year 10 has some autistic traits and the school has observed her in class and I have filled in a CAMHS form with information for her to be referred. The school also needs a young persons form to be filled in by DD giving her consent for referral.

DD is refusing to give consent and I don't know what the next step is. I have emailed the school about this and just waiting for a reply and I thought I'd ask any fellow mumsnetters if anyone has come across this and any advice would be appreciated.

DD is generally stubborn and adamant about things and would not be persuaded otherwise - which is something that concerns us among other things that she might be on the spectrum.

I’m sure you are both going through a range of emotions right now. DD is probably juggling lots of things and may be feeling different and like she doesn’t fit in. This might be feeling overwhelming for her and you too I expect.
Sounds like school staff are on board and trying to help. Is there anyone at school she would speak to?
Young Minds have some helpful information about CAMHS that might help to explain things for her.

https://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/parents-a-z-mental-health-guide/parents-guide-to-camhs/

Unfortunately as your child is now 14 years of age, the assessment cannot be carried out without her consent.

I know you are trying to do what’s best for your dd but there is nothing you can do to make her have the assessment. You are going to have to discuss it with her and explain your reasons and why you think it will benefit her (not just now but in the long run) and hope that she sees your point of view and agrees to go through with it.

this is the case with any assessment or medical issue as they no longer give parents/ guardians the responsibility and give it to the child even though in lots of other ways you are still legally responsible as her guardian/ parent. Parents are in a very difficult position from this age until adulthood (where if problems persist you can then tell them they have to stand on their own two feet).

If DD has capacity to decide she doesn’t want an assessment, she can’t be assessed.

Can you discuss with DD why she doesn’t want to be assessed? Sometimes you can work through this to the point DC change their mind.

We have tried to discuss it with her, but her mind can't be changed and she gets really upset, so we've left it for now. At the end of the day, I've done all I can to raise it with school and I thought it would be beneficial for her in the future, and she can get any help if she wishes.
I don't really know what I want out of it, and even if she does consent and she is diagnosed, what can actually be done about it?

Much support, including support in school, is based on needs rather than diagnosis, so the school should still be providing support.

Thats not to say I don’t think diagnosis is important, I do. But it does mean you can step back and leave it with DD for now whilst knowing she can still be supported.

I doubt people get any help they wish. Surely it is about the actual need

You have misunderstood. OP wasn’t saying DD will get any support she wishes. She said she can get any help if she wishes - as in if she decides she wants to access the help available, she can, but if she doesn’t want to she doesn’t have to.

Although as I said, most support is needs based rather than diagnosis based. However, some is based on diagnosis.

I agree that the school should be providing support based on need rather than diagnosis. What had she got in place alrwsdy to support her at school?

One thing we did was to talk about people we either knew or are in the public eye who are ND.