Ideas for managing weight

[Stuckinarut79]

Posting here as very complicated.
I've a wonderful 14 year old ASD/adhd/pda/anxiety/challenging behaviour.
she doesn’t live with me due to having to safeguard her younger brother I see her at weekends and talk most days.
she’s put on a lot of weight in the last few years and a huge amount in the last few months. Her activity level has dropped hugely and she’s eating huge portions and snacking a lot.
I’m after some ideas of how to support her. My idea is we try a few small changes and get her buy in - a filling but not calorific breakfast - I’m thinking a protein yogurt - it needs to be quick and low effort. At the moment she’s having pastries. Going out for a walk after school every other day and not coming back for dessert if she’s full after a meal - either less at the meal so she’s not full or skip dessert.
ive tried to not ban foods or make things rewards/good/bad foods as that is my issue treats were hidden and used as a reward and I’m overweight mainly as I’m a comfort eater.
she’s also hot a history of restricting/binging and we’ve worked to get her back onto three meals a day so I’m really aware of messaging.
but we need to do something she’s gone from a size 12 to 16/18.
she lives with her dad and grandparents who are feeders and live food , so meals are late in the evening and two/three course affairs. Grandma will tell her she’s getting chubby but then give her a huge meal there’s plenty veg but also high calorie.
I know she’s depressed, I know hormones will be playing a part. I’m just trying to think of some easy low demand changes she can do to help her feel better.
anyone been through similar and got any ideas.

Is she in a Mainstream school or Special school or Resourced Provision? Just wondering if school staff can help at all with support and advice. Maybe the school nurse?

Has she been referred to a dietician?
Any sensory needs around food? Look at Interoception. There’s a great video on You tube, Kelly Mahler. She may not know when she is hungry/ full etc for example. This might be helpful for explaining her needs to Grandparents.

If she doesn’t have one I’d ask for a referral
to a Paediatrician. Girls on the Spectrum are more likely to be diagnosed with PCOS which can lead to weight gain.

Some small changes would be a good start like your breakfast suggestion. I’d involve her as much as you can with any swaps and changes.
Do you have a trampoline or would she use one? Rebound therapy is good for those who are ND.
Maybe some sort of punch bag would be good for anxiety/ frustration. Good exercise too.

How is the relationship with DD’s dad? Could you have a discussion with him?

How much does DD drink? Some feel hunger when they are actually thirsty. Sensory difficulties can exacerbate this sometimes. Has DD had a sensory OT assessment? Sometimes sensory issues can result in someone not recognising the signals telling them they are full.

Is DD receiving support for her anxiety?