"grown up sitting" for SN adult in their 20s

[bosqueverde]

How do I put this...

I am a father and sole carer of my two daughters in their 20s. Both are autistic and both have mental health problems.

I have been working for their autonomy and it has been ok to leave them for a night - and even several days once but that got very difficult. But recently my eldest started to have delusions / fears that she would harm her sister. I don't believe she would, but it's making mutual support completely impossible and several times, she has rang mental health support / police calling herself a criminal for her intrusive thoughts. It's making it impossible to leave them together.

I got round (just) work and shopping but... I'm in a relationship, or try to keep one going, and I can't always visit my partner with daughters in tow 😅!!

Question: everybody knows what baby sitting is, and everybody knows about respite care for older adults with e.g. dementia. Do any of you have experience of getting short periods of care (e.g. one evening... Though a day, a week-end would be interesting)?

I don't know about getting a carer for your dd's but I can't see why it wouldn't be possible. It would probably be quite easy to find a sensible adult that could stay with them independently or a carer through an agency - but in that case it would almost certainly have to be a regular thing.

Have you considered something longer term than a night here or there? It sounds your dd's may never be able to live independently do you think that is correct? Do you think they will manage when you are no longer here? It might be worth looking into assisted living for them perhaps. There may be a very long wait (I've no idea) so it might be worth looking into even if it's for the future. I say this as someone with a disabled sister in law who lived at home and had a really terrible time when her last remaining parent died and nothing had been organised for her.

It sounds like you've dedicated a lot of time to your dd's and you deserve a life too.

A PA/carer would be an option. If you go through an agency, not all agencies require someone to pay for regular hours.

Some areas have a ‘sitting service’. It wouldn’t cover overnight, but during the day/evening would be possible. This doesn’t always have to be a regular thing either.

Thank you @Lyn348 for the ideas- you're absolutely right that assisted living has to feature at some point. There's been a lot since separating from their mum but it's an objective.

@BrightYellowTrain, it's useful information. I'm looking at agencies, and eventually I hope social care can help.