Residential college or day college and supported living

[Lesley25]

I’m struggling with this.

My son is fast approaching 18 and whilst I’ve found 2 residential colleges I think are suitable, I’m struggling with weighing this up against supported living and day college.
i know tribunal is necessary to secure both the provisions , i am struggling with the emotional aspect of the decision.

My son has SLD (largely non verbal), there’s no doubt he needs a team around him for his needs after 18- I can’t do it even with max support, which I have now.

But, I’ve basically put him front and centre in our whole family life and I can’t bear the fact that he could be mistreated and go to residential college for whole terms (weekly boarding isn’t recommended and also I think would be detrimental) and come home in the term holidays , but what if he was being mistreated - how would I know?
Would he feel abandoned? he struggles with respite as it is.

i know it’s at least 2 years away.

But, I’ve only found one day college suitable and i would need at least 3 years to buy and renovate or find supported living for him but this way i would be much more present in his life.
Pros and cons

What if residential college is good for independence living skills, it’s also not forever, a learning curve he couldn’t experience again, you can’t pick this option once 18 passes, whereas the supported living is forever, how do I feel about him being somewhere from 18 forever?

But I wanted some insight from this parents that have chosen one over the other.

Starting a residential college placement post 18 is possible. Some DC don’t start until they are in their 20s. EHCPs can last until 25, or 26 in some cases, so there it can still be worthwhile even if DC doesn’t start until 21/22.

Equally, a supported living placement isn’t always forever. Some DC move on to other placements.

Some supported living placements have a higher turnover a staff than many residential colleges do, so ask about staff turnover.

Many residential colleges still involve parents between holidays with events etc. parents can attend. Some still have half term holidays too. Even if you don’t think weekly boarding will work for DS, he could come home every few weekends if that would work for you/the placement is amenable to that. Although it can take a while to settle, sometimes residential placement is easier than respite because it isn’t only for a night or 2 a week.

Thanks @BrightYellowTrain
i didn’t realise that residential college could start later but I don’t know how that would
be feasible for us.
I’ll definitely ask about staff turnover, so thank you