Hey I just wanted to throw this out there and get some advice.
I sometimes say things that trigger my DS and he reacts often by shouting back at me. Most of the time I know what is likely to trigger him. It's often things that make him feel emotional or awkward, like references to when he was younger or a baby, or me singing to myself, dancing round the kitchen, making chicken noises when I see chickens etc.... it varies - but they are words/actions that trigger an emotional response in him - which he can't handle very well.
I suppose there are 2 parts to my question:
Firstly, should I stop saying/doing things that I know will trigger my DS or should I carry on doing them now and then so he can learn coping mechanisms? Before we told him to say if something was triggering him so we knew what we could and couldn't do. So I sort of know what is likely to provoke a reaction.
BUT!!! People are not going to tiptoe round him all through his life. He will experience situations where people say things that make him feel uncomfortable. If he reacts in the same way to them as he does to me on occasion by shouting and being aggressive, then he's probably not going get the best response from that person and that frightens me.
Secondly, what ARE the coping mechanisms for things like this? How can he learn to deal with that awkward emotional embarrassed feeling in a better way? I thought about the double inhalation breath technique as that would give him a chance to take a pause, calm himself, and consider a better way to respond - but he refused to even watch the video (that got another trigger response in itself!) so we didn't get anywhere.
Does anyone have any advice, experience that they can share please? Surely it's better to help him learn better coping strategies, as opposed to just not triggering him in the first place?
Many thanks!