Talking about the future

[MinesABluePlatePlease]

I have a son with LD who is very able and manages a lot of his life himself, obv with good support to do so. Today, out of the blue, he brought up the subject of 'when I'm not here anymore'. It struck me then how much discussion and organising is done between parents/carers etc about the future, which is mostly out of their earshot. We/I kind of assume that this perhaps doesn't occur to the ones we care for, or maybe we/I avoid bringing the subject up. I try to get the balance right between letting him know that things will be in place but keep it to within his understanding.
How do others deal with this? It's a scary thought for us but must be even more so for those we care for.

For reference, he is 29 and I'm early 60's. He lives in supported living with a great team around him, and a large loving family who he feels close to.

I'm sorry you haven't had any replies on this one. Have you managed to find anyone to talk to?

I try to get the balance right between letting him know that things will be in place but keep it to within his understanding.

I think you need to do this more. If DS is asking the questions, it seems he needs more information and reassurance. Although obviously still in a way he can understand.

Definitely worth talking through with him more, maybe it would be helpful for him to be in on the conversations in future? He can't rely on you being there forever to do the organising so it's important that he knows how everything will work after. Very sensible of him to be thinking ahead! I have one with ASD so I know how much thought and planning goes into their futures - and how much they need preparing for their future too.

Thanks for the replies, PolaroidPrincess, Jessie1259 and EndlessLight. You're all absolutely right, and I feel much more confident in sharing the future plans with him now. Thanks so much 🙂

I don't have any advice to offer you. But I hear you. Glad your son can cope with life reasonable well. My son is 17 and he needs support with everything. No sense of danger etc. I worry so much about when I'm no longer around.
At the moment I thinking about his own house in the near - mid future. And it scares the hell out of me.
Our kids, no matter what our age, are always our babies. However when ASN is at play, it's even more so...from my perspective anyway.
X

LorsC72, I would say start early with future plans so you have plenty of time on your side. Start with a self referral to Adult and Social Care services for a discussion of your options. I felt just like you, but once I'd found the strength to be proactive and find out what's out there, I felt like I'd more of a handle on it. Talk to other parents too. Just don't try and do it all alone 🙂

❤️