Dopamine seeking

[parrotonmyshoulder]

Hi,
I was signposted to this board by a kind poster who responded to my post about sibling rivalry in ‘parenting’. I’ve copied the full post below, and am interested in the idea that the younger one (12) may be dopamine seeking with this behaviour.

What activities might help with this? We don’t have space for a trampoline, which I think would help him. He can spend hours with a football, likes running (but won’t do it alone), likes gaming (but quite basic stuff that is ‘easy’ for him). I can’t always ‘do something’ with him at the moment he needs it. Wondering if there are any great ideas for redirecting to a domaine fuelling activity.
I feel like I have better understanding of the older DC’s needs and she has good self awareness now too, so can manage them herself more of the time.

OP below:
parrotonmyshoulder · Yesterday 17:43
I know there will be many tales of siblings who get on wonderfully and for whom family life is a dream. I need to hear from other parents who, despite their best efforts in bringing up their offspring to this point, with adequate attention, understanding of their needs, acceptance of their different personalities etc etc, have ended up with two (or more!) children who cannot tolerate each other’s presence.
Any advice, horror stories, or reassurance that it might actually end up okay? Both think the other is the devil incarnate. Divide and rule works well. Is that the only answer?
Both have additional needs, not well understood by each other, so this may add to the tension, although is neither an excuse nor the only cause. They feel they have nothing in common any more and both remember fondly the days when they played happily together.
I think going back to school will help, although the younger one hates school so is more miserable and prone to outbursts at home. Older one needs down time away from him but manages this better on school days.

Even if you don’t have space for a full size trampoline, do you have space for a mini indoor trampoline? Some even have legs that come off/fold so you can pack away after use.

You could also look at something like the southpaw sensory kit or gorilla gym. Both of which you attach to a doorframe. A pull bar might work too.

Some find a punch bag helps.

If you have the space, you could look at exercise equipment such as treadmill, exercise bike, rowing machine, kettlebells, battle ropes.

Not all areas commission sensory OT on the NHS anymore, but if your LA does, it is worth a referral. If DC has an EHCP, you could also look at pursuing sensory OT provision in there, too. If DC doesn’t have an EHCP, you should think about requesting an EHCNA.

Thank you. Great ideas. I’ve found a rebounder on gumtree for £4 in perfect condition and he’s on it already while watching TV.
He uses the gym at school so I’ll ask them
which equipment he uses. He ‘can’t remember’…!

Also, thank you for EHCNA suggestion. I know it’s time to do this.

An exercise ball or peanut ball might be useful as well.

IPSEA has a model letter you can use to request an EHCNA.

Some find a punch bag helps

I know some in my family have found those useful. DH build DD a skate ramp but he is quite handy