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Daughter's ex-boyfriend coerced her into sexual activities then discarded her - how to cope with the aftermath

10 replies

LoritaP · 24/05/2024 15:43

My daughter was 14 when a boy from school,one year older than her, approached her and showed a lot of interest in her. She has never been in a relationship so she was very excited. The boy seemed like a gentleman at the time. Fast forward two weeks later and they are already dating. He invites her to his house for dinner with his parents and older brother and she's excited to meet them, makes cute gifts for them, she's just a very sweet, kind girl. When I pick her up from their house that night she seems really distressed but won't tell me anything. The next day she finally spills it all out, while at the boy's house she was strongly pressured by him into doing things that she was very uncomfortable with, she initially gave in and tried to go with it but got scared when he was trying to go even further and told him to stop several times but then he started begging her to have sex. She refused to go through with it thankfully but what really shocked her was the reaction of the boy who seemed extremely disappointed and angry at her. The next day she tried breaking up with him but he apologized profusely about what happened, even mentioned that he thinks he has some level of autism and can't always read people's expressions and couldn't tell she was that uncomfortable. He asked for a second chance and after a few days she decided to say yes but with the warning that they could not be left alone or go to his house until he regained her trust and ours. Once she said yes he started acting very strange, basically avoiding spending time with her. When she tried bring it up he would say that everything is fine and he was just busy studying with exams. After two weeks of this she confronted him and hinted that things may not be working out between them then he very suddenly broke up with her telling her that this was a "mutual" break up and basically not allowing her to talk. This experience left my daughter with PTSD, continuous flashbacks of what happened at his house that night and severe depression. She's lost trust in people and currently undergoing therapy, little by little she's going back to the bright, positive person she has always been before this. In the meantime the boy seems to be having a great time, he's popular at school and has many friends. She tried to confront him once and all she got as a response from his was a bunch of skull emojis...

This happened two months ago and I have been really angered by this whole situation and feeling that more should be done about it. Knowing that his parents were there and his older brother was in the room right next to them while she was being pretty much assaulted and didn't think of checking on them makes my blood boil. All the meanness shown by this boy to my daughter after that night upsets me because I know how much it has affected my daughter's wellbeing. My daughter doesn't wish to report him at school and i can understand why because we live in a small town and may make things even worse for her. I guess the best is to move on but it's so hard. Has anyone dealt with similar situations?

OP posts:
steamedisbest · 24/05/2024 15:44

had you met the boy before dropping off?

My daughter doesn't wish to report him at school and i can understand why because we live in a small town and may make things even worse for her.

He will get away with it OP and do it again

steamedisbest · 24/05/2024 15:48

they got back together?

what the helldid you do at this news?

steamedisbest · 24/05/2024 15:49

Does she have SEN

She sounds very vulnerable

LoritaP · 24/05/2024 15:50

I did, he came to our house a few times and had dinner with us. He was extremely proper and nice every time before that night...

OP posts:
LoritaP · 24/05/2024 15:59

They got back together but didn't see each other in person until a couple of weeks when they met briefly at school and he broke up with her. We were extremely concerned about them getting back together and advise her against it but finally allowed her to make her own decision as she was really confused. We agreed that they were not to spend any time in private any more which I'm sure he didn't like and may be part of the reason he decided to move on...

OP posts:
LoritaP · 24/05/2024 16:01

What does SEN mean?

OP posts:
steamedisbest · 24/05/2024 16:05

special education needs

steamedisbest · 24/05/2024 16:06

are you in the uk?

LoritaP · 24/05/2024 16:13

She doesn't have any special needs, she's an A grade student and a close group of female friends. She's considered very pretty but she can be shy and insecure, has a hard time saying no to people.

OP posts:
LoritaP · 24/05/2024 16:21

No I'm in the US

OP posts:
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