Autism and severe anxiety

[Buttheywereonlysatellites51]

DD (17) has autism and severe anxiety. Is on Sertraline for about a year now.

I'm at a loss as to know what to do / how to help with her anxiety. She experiences heart palpitations daily (we've had her heart checked out and everything is fine), severe anxiety about socialising with other people (convinced that others don't like her), anxiety when even thinking about doing homework and of course anxiety doing the actual homework. If she has a test she feels unprepared for, she will often take the day off sick.

Every couple of months the anxiety gets too much and she'll have 3-4 days off school. She says if she doesn't do this she'll get burn out. Added to this is depression, self-harm, suicidal thoughts.

We have a peaceful household and I am always there when she needs to talk. She knows that. She has such high levels of anxiety all the time and overthinks everything. At the moment we're thinking of asking the doctor about increasing her dose of Sertraline.

I'm not sure what my question is... advice? Comments from others who've been there and have come out the other side?

If an increase in dose doesn’t help, DD could try different medications. It is about finding the right one for the individual.

Is DD receiving any support and MH therapies? Does she have an EHCP? Is the school providing any support?

Does DD take vitamin D supplements? If not, it is worth seeing whether she will.

Hi @Buttheywereonlysatellites51 I completely understand what you’re going through. My autistic DS (18) is exactly the same, although in year 7, his anxiety got so bad he refused school totally and we had to get an EHCP and move him to a special school. It didn’t solve it but it helped get him back into school.

Have you thought about a beta blocker like Propanalol (to slow down her heart rate) instead of an antidepressant? If her anxiety is through the roof, it might be worth looking into that. Also, you could ask for a CAMHS assessment whilst she’s still under 18 and see if they will provide any sessions with a psychologist to do some anxiety management work with your daughter …..obviously accessing that for her might make her even more anxious. A lot of places now use the self referral route to the NHS Talking Therapies service (formerly IAPT). They’re usually quite booked up but you may get an initial 6 sessions. You can ask your GP for info or go to their website. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/talking-therapies-and-counselling/nhs-talking-therapies/
Not sure how good their counselling is for autistic people though -CBT needs to be more specialised I believe for autism.

Just to say, we aren’t fully out the other side but not being in school now (DS having a year off before he decided what he’ll do) is massively helping lower his anxiety.

He has a very simple day. Gets up around 13:30 and I take him to get food (he has an ED so that’s why), then we come home and he plays piano and studies a new language. Then he chills for the rest of the day/evening and has just started cooking his own tea about 19:30. He goes to bed in the early hours because he likes the house to be quiet.

All of the things he’s currently doing, which isn’t many, he’s only able to do if nothing else gets in the way. For example, today, he had a med appointment so for all of yesterday he only managed to eat a couple of kitkats and he didn’t sleep until 6am. His anxiety goes through the roof when he has things on.

It’s really hard but he hasn’t had a meltdown since year 7. He’s had shut downs but much easier to manage because he just hides himself under his duvet.

I had read something about a body brushing technique which is supposed to help their fight/flight/freeze response but DS said no. He’s extremely sensory aversive.

Do you have an EHCP in place for her at school and what things could she do ag school and at home to self regulate? 5em being ab
e to lower their own anxiety is really good if they can.

Its really good that your DD knows herself that she needs time off to prevent burn-out.

@BlueBrick We are not in the UK any more, so I had to look up some of the things that were mentioned, but she has something that sounds like an EHCP (or probably the equivalent where we live) and she sees a psychologist once a week. I would like her to try something like CBT, but the psychologist doesn't do this.

The school has been brilliant. There is a room she can go to when everything gets too much. However this week has been quite stressful for her and one day she spent 1/2 day in there 😐. I just started her on Vitamin D last month as her levels were low the last time they were tested.

@Verbena17 I hadn't thought of a beta-blocker, but we have a GP appointment soon so I will bring that up.

It's great your DS's anxiety is better, though it still sounds stressful for you. It is hard parenting a child with severe anxiety. It's also great that he is motivated to do things like learn another language! He seems to have found a structure to his day that works for him.

DD's thing is to crochet. It keep her hands busy and her mind on something else while she's doing it. But otherwise she just ruminates and overthinks everything that's happened that day. I feel there must be something else she can do to lower her anxiety, we just haven't found it yet.

That’s so l only your DD loves to crochet! My DD (we are pretty sure she has ADHD/maybe autistic) was saved from deep periods of depression by learning to crochet. It’s such a good and practical hobby.

Does your DD enjoy reading books? Maybe disappearing into a world of fantasy or romance might also help her relax. I really tried to get my DS to love reading but he doesn’t….unless it’s Japanese Manga but at least means he still reads.
DD (21) has her own booktok channel and loves talking about all things books. She also gets work from publishers for that too so that keeps her busy.

I hope your DD finds something she loves to do - does she sell any of her crochet makes or make gifts for family and friends?

@Verbena17 She used to read a lot, but lately says she can't concentrate long enough. But she crochets for hours. Yes she does sell to family and friends and makes amazing gifts. She's never followed a pattern, just 'works it out' herself.

That’s brilliant! A little Etsy business at some point perhaps!