If DS cannot work query

[Verbena17]

Hi
DS is 18 and will be 19 early next year.
He has a total of 5 quals, 2 of which are English Lit and maths GCSES (level 8’s), plus a level 3 IT qual and some music awards.

He is quite academic but didn’t want to go to college or uni and is currently taking a year out from doing anything (he is learning a difficult language every day at home) and then we have no idea what’s next.

The difficulty is that although he’s academic, has an amazing memory and is a really laid back, lovely, polite young man, he has zero confidence and has GAD. He is anxious 24/7 and also currently has what looks like PoTS, as well as his autism diagnosis and ARFID eating disorder. I still have to go to medical appointments with him as he refuses to speak other than the odd thing and he physically stops hearing what they’re saying due to the anxiety.

Currently he has a good level of PIP and has not been reassessed since first award, although he was on DLA before PIP.
If say, he is unable to work for the foreseeable future, what can he claim in the form of benefits? Is there some type of incapacity benefit/unemployment benefit if you’re long term not able to work?

We are hoping that he will at some point be able to do some sort of work at home but that’s not ideal long term if he wants to meet people socially. He currently has such a low quality of life socially-wise. He is pretty depressed but keeps himself busy gaming and learning his langage.

I help him a little bit at a time learning new skills but that’s a very slow process.

He won’t learn to drive at the moment and wont/can’t travel independently and has no real need to.
He has zero friends except those he chats to on Discord and a couple of mates he was with at his special school.

Can anyone point me in the right direction to anything useful about benefits.
Job-wise, we are just going to have to wait I think - until he’s done a few more years of developing/maturing. I just feel so sad for him and for his future.

One of dd friends was doing an online course after special school., with an ehcp.
Someone else her dd ehcp stopped, don't know why. They needed it.
They ended up with a placement funded by social services.
I agree with blue brick etc about try to get a course even online that covers his interests, with a bit of luck a little stepping stone work placement rhat he thrives on.
A couple of weeks ago dd told me it was 12 o clock, when it was actually 10 o clock. Other times when it's 14;00 she reckoned it was 4 o clock, not 2 o clock.
She 22. To us she's vulnerable to be cuckooed.
Our dd has self taught drawing anime, just the girls.
Hoping you and your ds get the help needed for him to move on to., when he's ready to.

Have you considered Mindjam? OT (working towards living independently or as independently as possible)? SIOT if DS has sensory difficulties? SALT for the SM? Other PfA provision.

Equipment/resources/budget for gaming (or whatever else he/you spend money on for him). Something like Spectrum Space boxes could work. Music equipment (or lessons if DS could manage that).

It doesn’t even have to be an online course, or even anything formal at all. It could be entirely self led with no direct professional contact.

Yes- the cuckooing thing worries us too, although he said he’d be really careful about locking up the house etc.

I was told about mindjam on here a while back.
It’s not that I don’t think things like that would benefit him, it’s just that he doesn’t want to engage with strangers again. Even the ARFID OT he refused to see after the first day. It was just way too much. I have to be with him at GP appointments and I have to speak on his behalf because he suddenly goes deaf from anxiety if someone speaks to him and he doesn’t know what to say.

Not sure the spectrum space boxes are really his thing. He’s very academic and that looks like it could be more functional level?

Spectrum Space boxes are completely bespoke. They can be whatever DS needs. But, if they wouldn’t work there are many, many other options.

What about indirect therapies via you?

The aim of mentoring via Mindjam or otherwise is to build up a relationship over time so they are no longer a stranger. No, it’s not always easy. There will be bumps. But, it isn’t in DS’s best interest or possible to never engage with anyone else or the world ever again.

How does DS see himself living alone if he cannot engage with anyone else? Genuine question - trying to find the ‘in’. There will be one, it’s just not always simple to spot, and I’m wondering whether living alone is it.

It’s tricky. He wants to live alone so he doesn’t have the anxiety of coping with other people….their smells, their hands touching his stuff, their food waste in the bin etc. He wants to be able to relax on his own. Currently he does that by being at his computer desk in his bedroom.

Yes, it worries me/us about his social interaction in the future but we’re just praying he will mature and be able to cope with support.