independance - regression and progression?

[listlesscat]

in y6 my son would visit friends in neighbouring roads, and go to the corner shop alone. Now in y9 (post ASD/SEN diagnosis and development of chronic anxiety) he doesn't have any plans to go anywhere without a parent or other safe adult for the forseeable future (ever?)

I'd love to hear anyone's experience

can autistic teens develop independence late?

Yes, independence can be developed as an older teen/adult. It’s also not linear, regression can happen. Is DS receiving any support?

Yes, we're in process of getting him the right support - ehcp pending, but in the meantime he has CAMHS etc.

Watching with interest as my 15 year old is doing a lot less than she used to be able to. I figured it's due to burnout from masking so long and I really hope she regains stuff/progresses as time goes on.

Neither of mine were going anywhere independently in Y9. ds1 is now having a good time at university and needing very little support other than a pep-up talk every now and then and has held down a summer job for the past couple of years. ds2 is still a work in progress but has just started university too which even though I doubt it will last shows how much progress he has made too in the last couple of years. So basically never say never.

It's weird though when you try and think what has made the difference. One of the biggest boosts for ds1 was being taken out by a student social worker on the bus to the shops and have a burger (part of family assessment). Somehow this broke the link that he could only do stuff with me or his dad. It's ridiculous that something so little as this helped but it really was a turning point. At a very similar time he finally managed to tell school stuff about home-life that had been worrying him and I think this new ability to share probably helped as well (previously he bottled things up and then exploded)

I think for ds2 his boosts have come from getting good grades in his exams (I think he felt pretty worthless for a long time when he dropped out of school and this gave him a bit of hope that maybe he could do something with his life) and also seeing his brother gain independence (again giving him hope that if ds1 can do it then maybe I can do it too kind of thing).

That's lovely to hear. I can't imagine college, let alone uni at this stage (not that I mind if uni isn't on the cards, I just want her to be fulfilled in some way). But it just shows how unexpected things can happen from the smallest beginnings! Thanks for sharing!