21 year old Ds - Driving test & dyspraxia

[LightandAiry]

My 21 year old Ds is refusing to book a trip to do work experience abroad until he's passed his driving test. He has dyspraxia and he says he failed on things he knows how to do but forgets to do them. It could be a long process until he passes and he says he 'cant live' or get a job until he's passed and it will be hanging over him, so he may miss his trip.

He did a job over the summer - very practical - travelling round putting up glamping tents but says he nearly lost the job due to the manager being frustrated at having to show him many times how to do things. He didn't tell them he's dyspraxic. They ended up thankful to him as he worked hard sometimes 70 hour weeks.

His driving instructor said to go out with his Dad (it's an automatic car) to practice until his next test as he failed on things he knows how to do. She will do a lesson again just before the test. He is down and despondent and said his mind doesn't work well for driving. I said many people don't pass first time and he needs to practice, practice, practice.

He is concerned about what sort of job he can do as there are so many things he says he can't do well.

Does anyone have a Dc with similar issues? I think it's highly likely I am dyspraxic too, I have problems with directions and I've never been a good driver, but I can drive.

Just realised how long this is! Thanks to anyone who reads it....

Hi x I have a DH (in his 40s) who is learning to drive, but struggling. He's not diagnosed with dyspraxia but he has a lot/all of the symptoms to an extent and we have both thought for a while he has this.

I'm so proud of him for deciding to learn. So far he is only 5 lessons in, but his driving instructor is getting very frustrated, and lectured him twice today, telling my DH he is a dangerous driver!! He keeps saying that he's not progressing, struggling with his road position, speed and managing the gears/steering wheel.

I'm not sure how this helps you (sorry), but I think this process can be very disheartening. It sounds as though your son is resolute to pass, and that's such a good thing. I hope he has a patient driving instructor, and passes his test soon x

@Kay00 thanks for your reply - the comment about being dangerous reminds me of that being said to me once - I didn't drive for 4 years after passing my test, and I was having a bad day and was very tired, it's horribly dispiriting. Even now I have trouble reversing out of our drive sometimes and it takes a few goes, but I do it - safely but other people are impatient and judgemental.

My ds's driving instructor said she didn't want to take any money from him now as it's a case of just doing what he can do and knows how to do. It's just that in the moment it goes out of his head. He says he's 'scatterbrained.' The only dangerous fault he failed on was mirrors, but there were 6 faults in total.

Could your DH learn in an automatic? My DS drives an automatic, at least it's less to think about. Well done to him for learning, but it will take many lessons.

5 lessons in, my DD with great spacial awareness was struggling, and saying she wasn't getting it after 5 lessons. She passed first time after 33 lessons at 1.5 hour lessons, so it's early days.

I just want my DS to get on with his life in other ways and pick up driving after his trip. I am convinced he gets the dyspraxia from me.

@LightandAiry thank you for your replies 😊 I agree it's early days! I believe he's totally capable of learning this, and time and practice will be what works. My DH also says he forgets to do the things he has leant, it seems to be that if he's concentrating on his steering and road position, he can't control the speed of the gears.

I do agree that moving to an automatic might be a good move, and we discussed that as a possibility last night.

I'm glad to hear your back on the road and driving xx