ASD/PDA- do they become nice people?

[MackenCheese]

I'm worried that by meeting as many needs as I possibly can I'm setting my DS15 up to be a horrible, spoilt and unpleasant man? This is something I really worry about. I do my best for him, and I know the teens are tough, but I feel like he's going to become one of these awful men you read about on mumsnet.
He doesn't treat me or his sister nicely, and it is very difficult to move him along with independent living.
Can anyone reassure me?

Our DD is in the Pathway but highly suspect she has PDA along with all of the other stuff she has to deal with.

She's actually matured a fair bit between 15 and 16 and we've even been able to take a short trip together. Something which was unimaginable this time last year.

She still really struggles but can vocalise what she needs more and when she needs to be alone to reset.

My ASD/PDAer is a lovely young woman. Demand avoidant as heck, dysregulated sleep pattern, etc

But genuinely lovely and kind.

I am a PDAer (also ADHD) and am nice nearly all the time! I think that finding the right kind of work is the most important thing, as the stress of being in a hierarchy every day spills over into home. Autonomy = happy and calm. I do get cross if I'm told what to do - I haven't grown out of it - I am 41.

This question keeps me awake at night. My DS15 is so awful to me most of the time. The way he speaks to me makes me feel so low and he is sometimes violent. He can be charming when is is in a comfortable situation but then I worry more that he will be an awful partner to someone one day, charming them then becoming a monster if in a situation he can't control.
It's very sad.
I explain each time that is not acceptable way to talk to someone but I don't think he hears it at all.

@weasle My thinking too. I think society has a certain expectation of women, such that female PDAers are very sweet and compliant. My suspicion is that the boys become these horrible men who lovebomb and then can't keep up the pretence of " Mr Nice Guy" when demands are put on them (such as the stresses of family life). My STBXH is probably one and my son will be. I apologise to the women out there in advance!!😫😫