Could my 17 year old daughter actually be Autistic?

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When my daughter was about 6 she had to see the educational psychologist due to not grasping the ability to read.
It was summarised that she had issues with her memory and possibly dyslexia but they said she would need to be tested for this when she was 7 but they never did.

She was always sen in primary school and started mainstream secondary in a special class with other sen children.
She struggled in secondary school with friendships. Could never seem to get a best friend, always falling out and would come home crying most days and have a breakdown on the way home.

She left school with 2 pass gcse grades and went to college.

Throughout her childhood she was difficult from day one. Had to be rocked and cried all the time. Was angry and upset very easily.
It was quite stressful but as she was my first I thought it was normal.
I had her sister when she was 4 years old and she was an easy baby, learnt to read and write at a normal pace etc.

It's only now my second daughter is 13 and growing up, that I now realise just how complex my eldest daughter is and how much I've had to adjust for her.
For example when I write a text I have to be careful that I don't add sarcasm or she'll take it literally and I have to do this in conversation too.
She'll also not pick up on some social queues like if her dad and I are being affectionate she'll come and sit on the sofa with us till late rather then go up stairs to give us alone time like her younger sister would.

She also kicks off at the slightest thing and will have a full on meltdown and there is nothing you can say or do to get her to calm down.

Our youngest daughter has cerebral palsy and learning disabilities but even she seems more understanding and 'switched on' then her sister.

I feel bad that I never noticed how different she was, I feel this is partly down to the intense medical needs of my youngest child. Had she of been born healthy I may have had more focus on my eldest and fought for more support instead of letting her go under the radar.

I'm afraid to get her evaluated as she's doing reasonably well with work and college but at the same time I think a diagnosis will help her to understand why she struggles in life particularly with relationships with her friends and family.

Should I not say anything as it's too late?
Or shall I raise this with her and push for an evaluation?

I don't know the answer, but I am going through something similar with DD1.
DD3 who is 13 was recently diagnosed with autism, and it occurred to me that DD1 seems to have similar issues and behaviours, in fact more severe ones than her sister. She has always had difficulty keeping friends and was unhappy throughout school. She had quite a bit of CAMHS input due to anxiety, depression and self-harm, including appointments with psychiatrists. They never mentioned autism. I blame myself for not thinking of this much sooner but I think it was my lack of knowledge about autism.

DD1 is 23 and so it's not up to me whether she wants to pursue a diagnosis. But I have suggested it to her. The diagnosis of her sister has made this conversation a bit easier. It's so hard to know if this is going to be helpful for someone and I do struggle with that, but on balance I think it is better to know and to understand why you have issues, and in essence to help to not blame oneself for being different.
How do you think your DD would react if you mention it?

It sounds like potentially she could have austism. My dc was diagnosed at 17 years. It has helped us both. It’s never to late to get a diagnosis. It’s whether your dd wants to get a diagnosis.