Hello. I'm brand new here, so apologies if I make mistakes.
I'm a full time step parent to a boy with autism and ADHD. He's 16. I've known and loved him since he was 8. He has lived with me full-time since his birth mother moved away when he was 13. He did not have any choice than to move in with me, the whole thing was heartbreaking. He hasn't spoken to her in over a year. We do have a good relationship and has always accepted me as a parent, which I know is super lucky. I suspect his Mum has genuine mental health issues, she is a very unpredictable and angry person most of the time.
I do not have any other children - I genuinely couldn't cope with another one now, even if I wanted to.
How do you guys manage the stress of supporting an autistic teenager? I love him so much, without question, and I want to help. He has crippling low self-esteem, sensory issues, I suspect he is depressed - CAMHS have been incredibly unhelpful so far. We have approached a psychiatrist and he has been assessed as having ASD and ADHD. He is currently not attending school, and we are supporting him to apply for colleges to start in September.
Giving my absolute all to this boy is what he deserves, and understandably, his teenage years are made harder by his diagnoses. Giving my all, however, is taking me to an extremely drained and depressed place myself. The screaming, slamming doors, emotional outbursts and demand avoidance is starting to get on top of me. Whilst I set boundaries and we usually have a good understanding, I'm really struggling and don't know how to reset or recharge. His unpredictable behaviour makes me anxious, because living with an abusive parent and ex-husband has made me quite wary of volatile behaviour.
How do you look after yourself when loving someone who challenges you this way? Any advice would be gladly appreciated. Thank you.