My DS is 16, had a really tough few years. He struggled to settle back into school after covid and he failed most GCSE's and was on the edge of permanent exclusion all the way through Yr 11.
He was diagnosed with ADHD around 11 and ASD about a yr later. He doesn't like his ADHD meds but does recognise they help him focus at school.
He has increasingly struggled with managing his emotions over the last few yrs and is quick to get angry, particularly with anyone who is putting in rules he doesn't agree with.
He has become very close with a group of boys that smoke weed regulary.. He has been smoking a couple of times a week for a while.
We have been clear that we don't want him to smoke but at a lost as to how to stop him... he is clear he doesn't want to and won't try other drugs, doesn't always smoke when his friends do but won't stop.
We are trying to support him to stay in college this year, on a level 2 BTEC, this is challenging, he's finding the change very hard and college just don't get him and think that he is just being rude and not engaging when really he is struggling to adapt to a very new environment.
We think he had PDA ( sister is diagnosed) and if I push to much on anything it causes massive friction- I think due to anxiety but he doesn't recognise this at all.
He has been mugged this week, is ok physically but the emotional reaction was extreme and he's agreed to get some help ( very reluctantly but I was clear we would have to think about if he could stay here if not due to the effect on all of our MH)
We are seeing an ADHD coach this week and also going for a PDA assessment- it feels a start...
I am struggling with the weed smoking, I don't want him to and know the dangers but can't find a way to stop him... We don't want to push him further away but I am terrified about the risks to his MH.
He knows the risks ( not sure he understands them really- he's 16) and the CAMHS psychiatrist was very clear with him this week...
Not sure what the point of this is- anyone been through anything similar and their child not spiralled into further MH issues? Any other ideas? Just telling him to stop won't work! And no consequences ever work unless they 'make sense' to him.
Thanks in advance!