I realise this is ridiculous but here we are.
DS15 is undergoing diagnosis for adhd, inattentive rather than hyper. But I honestly think he hasn't a clue what it's all about. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with him. He's just going along with me for an easy life.
He's always struggled with attention, focus, time management, following a string of instructions, sleep etc. But he seemed to be getting by okay so we left it.
Now he's older he's not getting on okay. He's constantly late for school. He's constantly forgetting to hand in homework. He's just done his first set of mock exams and did badly because he couldn't manage a study timetable. So it is starting to affect his life chances and that's why I think it's time for an assessment.
He just doesn't get it though and I'm struggling to explain.
He's so used to this being his life that he doesn't think it could get better or it needs to get better. He just doesn't get that he's got a problem.
We had our initial meeting with CAMHS this week and everything the person asked him he just said he was fine.
"How are you doing at school?"
"Fine, I passed most of my mocks"
Even though he's not handing in homework, not studying properly, getting way lower grades than he should be, failed 2 exams, forgets pe kit and textbooks etc
"How's your sleep?"
"Fine. I could maybe do with a bit more but it's mostly fine"
Even though he probably sleeps 5 hours a night and is exhausted every morning.
"Do you think you're quite good at managing your time, keeping track of time?"
"Yes I'm fine at that. Sometimes I'm late for school but not always, so I think I'm fine"
Even though he's late more often than not, and the days he's not late are the ones I'm on his case every minute.
Same with every question pretty much. The person was good though, I guess she's seen all this before so she could see through him well enough to get to the real story. And I was able to speak a bit too, while trying not to just rubbish his character the whole time. He really is a lovely kid.
I'm trying to explain or find resources to show him how things could improve.
The reason I think it is important is that I want him to be the best he can be, to achieve everything he wants to achieve, and not just bump along the bottom because he can't focus properly. I want other people to realise that he has an actual reason for finding things hard and that he's not just lazy and disorganised.
We talked around whether he finds it annoying or upsetting to be constantly nagged about getting ready on time and everything. He agreed that it is annoying and it would be better if he could go faster himself. But I'm not sure how much better he thinks it would be, probably not that much.
I'm not making sense now, I'm just waffling. I want him to grasp the idea that life could be so much easier for him than it is right now. But because this is all he's ever known he doesn't realise how hard it is. Does that make any sort of sense?
Can anyone recommend any resources or anything that might help him see that life could be better?
Can anyone relate?
Or am I doing the wrong thing in trying to get him a diagnosis and help when he clearly doesn't see the need?