18yr old son ASC, has shut down

[VeraSimilitude]

Hello, my 18yr old autistic son dropped out of college before Christmas and has spent the last two months literally in his room. He is not interested in doing anything at all. I'm concerned for his mental health. He says he's fine, but clearly he's going to do himself some damage mentally if he continues like this. I've always been his advocate and he was doing pretty well pre pandemic and me having cancer treatment (from Oct 2019), but has gone downhill steadily since then. I've tried all sorts to get him going again, but to no avail. Anyone having similar issues with this type of autistic teenage boy behaviour?

Ds is 18 and autistic with significant MH difficulties and an eating disorder. Given half a chance he would never leave his room, let alone our house ever again.
He is at the moment though, as he as an EHCP and attends a specialist college placement. Without his EHCP he would literally have nothing, as no other agencies are currently involved with him.

Did your Ds have any help or an EHCP when at school/college? It's an option to look at, if you and he feels that it would help him get back to education. It could also give him access to things like independent living skills and therapy.

I agree with Punx, does DS have an EHCP? If not you should apply. The provision doesn’t have to be traditional education or attending any kind of educational establishment and it will give access to therapies and other provision DS wouldn’t otherwise get. If he does already have an EHCP you need to ask for an early review.

If you have had social care assessments you should request those too.

And apply for UC and PIP if you haven’t already.

@VeraSimilitude DS was nearly 17 when he broke down with autistic burnout just as the pandemic started. He had coped with an awful lot of stuff in the preceding year which finally caught up with him - could your son be having a delayed reaction? Could he just need a break? If he is in survival mode perhaps his brain just isn't in the right place to be doing much. DD was 14 when the same thing happened to her (a few months after DS). After a decent break from school both of them were ready to try the world again and are both back studying in much better environments for them. Obviously wasn't straightforward or easy, but we tried counselling (helped DS to get over school trauma) and both are now on sertraline. Both also now diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type), DS on medication to help him concentrate better. I spent a lot of time with both of them, just to be there, reassuring and talking things through to help them process stuff/previous trauma. Was a tough couple of years but seems to have helped. As DD comments, it was good to step back, discover who she was and start afresh somewhere new.

Thanks all for your useful advice. My son has had an EHCP since Yr6 and attended a specialist school who helped enormously, although he did have issues with behaviour from another student towards the end. He then did a year in mainstream college which he appeared to enjoy before announcing he wanted to drop out before Christmas. He's not interested in any further education. I think he's had enough. This is all against the backdrop of me being ill and the pandemic. He was not able to do school work at home and has found it pretty hard to readjust to 'normal' life. @VMJ1 I think you're right that he is may be having a delayed reaction to events and is also suddenly thrust into the world of adulthood which is not quite what he was expecting (ie the world of work). I have to say that I also think part of his behaviour is that of a typical teenage boy. I have friends with NT boys who've been through comparable experiences. I've run out of ideas though. We're now looking at whether to give him his PIP money to manage it himself, and charge him rent as he doesn't have the motivation to do anything currently. Trying to give him some independence and autonomy. He's fed and clothed with a roof over his head at the moment so has no need to do anything. Whoops, sorry for long post, good to get things in black and white 🙂

Ask for an early view of the EHCP. Educational provision via the EHCP doesn’t have to what people consider traditional education. There are many options without DS attending college or doing academic work.

@VeraSimilitude I have no experiences of EHCP but I do know that with both my children, once they had had chance to recover they were ready to start thinking about what interested them again. DS already had a uni place so once it became a reality (after lockdowns) it spurred him on and his depression eased. DD had a break from school then decided she'd like to try again (somewhere more suitable!) and chose different options to study. I think in both cases they needed to recover then they realised they needed to do something again which would excite them. It's just a case maybe of finding that 'something' when he is ready.