Suspected ASC and school refusal

[WhatsitWiggle]

DD14 Yr10 has struggled with attending school since September but it escalated along with a severe decline in her mental health just before Christmas (she admitted to wanting to harm herself).

We saw a GP who referred to CAMHS but also asked if I'd ever suspected ASC. After doing some reading, I agreed there were traits. I had a further call and DD has been referred for assessment - wait list here is 2 years though (I'm looking into private).

DD has missed all lessons so far this term, we've got as far as school reception on Friday but she had a panic attack and was crying so we came home again.

School pastoral officer starts 16 Jan (last one left two months ago). Head of Yr10 and SENCO have suggested a card for DD to leave class if it's too much. But no ideas as to how we get her there in the first place! We've tried just going in for the last lesson only - that was Friday. And asked school if she can attend part time in the short term so she can go for her favourite lessons - just to try to get her past the phobic stage she seems in. (School currently not on board with this).

She's at mainstream secondary, GCSE year. She likes her classes, was hitting target grades, admits to missing the lessons she likes and her friends but in her words "it's too scary".

I'm at a loss what to do. It's gone zero to 100 in a month. Can anyone relate and suggest anything that could help?

If DD can’t attend school full time the LA must make alternative provision.

As well as this you should apply for an EHCNA. IPSEA have a model letter on their website you can use.

The reason the school aren’t keen on the part time timetable is because on its own a part time timetable shouldn’t be used long term and it doesn’t sound like it would be short term in DD’s case. It’s suggested anything longer than 6-8 weeks is too long. After that pupils should be in school full time or the LA should make alternative provision as well/instead of.

If DD can’t attend school full time the LA must make alternative provision.

As well as this you should apply for an EHCNA. IPSEA have a model letter on their website you can use.

The reason the school aren’t keen on the part time timetable is because on its own a part time timetable shouldn’t be used long term and it doesn’t sound like it would be short term in DD’s case. It’s suggested anything longer than 6-8 weeks is too long. After that pupils should be in school full time or the LA should make alternative provision as well/instead of.

If DD can’t attend school full time the LA must make alternative provision.

As well as this you should apply for an EHCNA. IPSEA have a model letter on their website you can use.

The reason the school aren’t keen on the part time timetable is because on its own a part time timetable shouldn’t be used long term and it doesn’t sound like it would be short term in DD’s case. It’s suggested anything longer than 6-8 weeks is too long. After that pupils should be in school full time or the LA should make alternative provision as well/instead of.

So sorry that you are struggling @WhatsitWiggle. We are in a very similar position. Today DD seemed positive, for once, and went into school on time but she was home by Lunchtime.

@JustKeepBuilding thank you, I've got a meeting with the school tomorrow and hopefully SENCO. They've agreed to a part-time timetable initially with a view to it building up. I'm hopeful once we can get some counselling and therapy in place, and her depression and anxiety improves, she'll be able to manage better because she'll have techniques to draw on. Right now, there's nothing left in the tank, she's mentally exhausted. If not, we might have to start dropping GCSEs but I'm worried that will limit her options post 16 as schools stop after GCSE here.

I appreciate she has been masking and it's taken it's toll, but it's also difficult to match the student hitting 6+ a few weeks ago with dreams of going to university with the terrified child in front of me now.

I would be asking the LA for other provision as well as the part time timetable to ensure DD receives a full time education.

Dropping a couple of GCSEs shouldn’t be an issue as long as she has the right ones for what she wants to do next.


Apologies for the multiple posts last night, MN was glitchy.

The meeting with the school was really positive, clearly we both want her back full time but they've agreed to a phased return and lots of support. I just need to get DD into those lessons as agreed! With the Xmas holidays, she's been out of lessons for nearly 6 weeks so I can understand her worry about returning.

Priority now is finding some private CBT counselling whilst we wait for everything else - exH has private cover so he's checking how much it will extend to.

And then exploring a private ASC diagnosis so she can access further support as she needs it.

We are about 12 months ahead of you. Based on our experience I would advise you to get that private ASC diagnosis asap - but make sure you are using a private practitioner that is familiar with the requirements of the local authorities if you need the diagnosis to feed into an EHCP. Once we had the diagnosis we found school was much more helpful. Document everything, especially any instances of self harm. This will be challenging but will help your case for specific support. If you haven’t already done so then contact your local authorities “inclusion officer” (may go by a different title) and ask how they are going to support you to get her back into school. Better to initiate contact rather than have them chase you. Finally the card to allow them to leave class is a great idea in theory but a very anxious teen is unlikely to use it.

Provision in schools, EHCPs and s.19 provision are based on needs, not diagnosis. With a couple of exceptions such as some ASD specialist schools.

Anxious pupils should be supported to use their time out card.

Please keep us posted on how you get in. We are in a near identical position!! It's such a worry x

You could also see what your LA offer in the way of Specialist Support Services, as the team in our county don’t need a diagnosis for support.

An example was when a lovely lady came to our house every week for about 8 weeks, to help with support and tips on how to get our ds to eat more easily and how to reduce his anxiety. It wasn’t a perfect service but it was really needed, especially for me as a parent and it meant it was another health professional seeing our DS whilst he was unable to attend school (because his mainstream school were starting to send the prosecution letter out 😩).

I just typed out a huge update and mumsnet crashed!

In short, DD has not made it to any lessons, but has built up to sitting in the learning support room for a lesson.

This isn't good enough for the school so we have a meeting on Monday. They've threatened to stop authorising the absence, so I'm trying to get a GP appointment. @Ralphswife @JustKeepBuilding I will contact the pupil inclusion, as we've been threatened with that too - as if we're not trying to get her in! I just need actual ideas on things to try. "You need to get her in" is not helpful, much like the "You need to build her resilience" wasn't helpful last year.

I've now read the LA EBSA guidelines from cover to cover, and the school has not followed these properly. So I am ready for Monday's meeting. They've not involved SENco or Ed Psych, went in too ambitious, didn't allow for setbacks. DD was an EBSA risk in year 9 and all we got was a letter telling us her attendance was low (below 95%) and DD needed to improve her resilience!

@Verbena17 thank you, I've contacted Early Help as it's called here, we're on the waitlist for a family support worker who'll see us at a hub in the first instance (assuming I can get DD there). I'll call them tomorrow to see if I can get an update on timescales.

This week has broken me. All the threats, having to pull her out of the half term school trip, even longer NHS waitlist than they said. Thank goodness work are being amazing and flexible.

@SpookySpoon22 I'm so sorry you're going through similar. It's so tough on the whole family. If you want to PM me, I'm happy to chat x

Hi @WhatsitWiggle - good luck! We have moved on and I am now posting in the Home Ed forum. As far as I am concerned my DD is not in a position to attend school. The question is whether or not to wait for the EHPC.

Ignore the threats to stop authorising absences. The school are trying to scare you. The regulations (Education (Pupil Registration) (England) Regulations 2006) make clear where a pupil is absent because they are unable to attend due to their medical needs the absence must be regarded as authorised. The DfE’s statutory attendance guidance also states unless the authenticity of the illness is genuinely questioned the absence must be authorised. DD does not have to attend if she is unable to due to her mental health or SEN, but whatever you do don’t deregister.

As DD is not receiving alternative education under s.19 of the Education Act 1996 and an EHCNA hasn’t been requested the school and LA could have done and still can do more to support DD with her needs arising from her disability.


If you haven’t already you really need to request an EHCNA. In the current climate with budgets how they are EP involvement outwith the EHCP process is unlikely, sadly.

You also need to request medical needs tuition from the LA.

Take the LA’s policy with a pinch of salt. Lots are unlawful, and lots try to pass the buck to schools.

@JustKeepBuilding thank you. I looked at the firms for EHCNA but they appeared to require instigation from the school where they admit they can't meet her needs? Plus a medical diagnosis. We don't have either yet.

She also still hasn't had ANY treatment for her anxiety. Just lots and lots of wait lists. I'm sure once she can control her anxiety, we'll have a better understanding of what she can and can't manage. She says she's bored and lonely at home and wants to be in school, but she can't go into class. Obviously we can't wait a year for treatment, so I've ordered an interest free credit card and will start ringing round tomorrow.

You don’t need a diagnosis or the school to agree. You can apply yourself. On their website IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

The benefit of an EHCNA is it can include assessments without the need to sit on the waiting list. And an EHCP can include therapies DC wouldn’t otherwise receive and without the need to sit on the normal waiting lists.

There are options other than attending school or home tuition. For example, medical needs tuition could start with home tuition to build trust etc. and then DD could move to 1:1 tuition outside the home e.g. at a library or centre and when/if ready move to small group tuition at a centre or hospital school.

Just wanted to jump back on as I spoke to the Inclusion Officer today who was really nice and said she couldn't see a problem. I checked back on my school app and it seems that they have been authorising all of DDs absences so no issues (yet).
I also wanted to thank @JustKeepBuilding for all their excellent advice

Hi there - I came across this thread today, as I am in a very similar situation. My (now) 12 year old DD began to develop anxiety seemingly out of the blue back in March, and it gradually got worse and worse very quickly - coinciding with onset of her periods, if that's potentially relevant. School were helpful from the off, got her on a reduced timetable and we organised private CB therapy- but nothing has worked - she quickly went from going in for 2 hours to not at all - with accompanying panic attacks, and vomiting - and now flatly refuses to go in at all. She's missed 4 months of school (Year7) Therapy hasn't helped at all. We hoped a break over the summer, new therapist and fresh start for Year 8 might help, but she went in for an hour (very distressed) on first day of term this week and refuses to go back. I don't know what to do now - school are still trying to help (mainstream secondary), with reduced timetable, coming in later after the crowds have cleared, going straight to student services, being met at the gate, we've tried everything, but she just won't go in, or try any of the measures in place. I know I must apply for an EHCP now -she has dyslexia so was getting some support for that in school - but am confused about whether I should approach the LA for extra educational provision - or try and get the EHCP first - do it all at the same time - wait for an Ed Psych assessment (getting a private one but wait is about 4 months currently) - and should I approach the inclusion team at my LA, and how much do I involve the school in all this or just do it independently? There is so much to navigate and get my head round and I'm not sure where to begin and what order to do things! I would love to hear an update from you and how things have gone with your child this year - or if anyone has any advice for me - there is so much new info to understand and absorb. Thanks everyone in advance.

@HestaHect I'm so sorry, I haven't checked back on this thread, how are you doing?

DD did not make it back to school and in April, with the support of Early Help, we agreed we would no longer attempt to send her in as it was making her mental health worse - by that point, she'd stopped eating, wasn't sleeping well, wouldn't leave her room and I was terrified she'd harm herself. We finally got medical needs home tuition in September but DD refuses to see the tutor so in effect she's teaching herself. It's not great. But she did make it into her school last week for 3 mock exams which was just amazing.

We got the private diagnosis in the summer, and applied for EHCNA in September then had a battle when the LA declined to assess. They've now agreed to assess so we're somewhere in that process.

I've also applied for DLA - 11 weeks down and counting.

If F2F tuition isn’t suitable have you/the LA considered less traditional &/or less direct forms of education?